So my best friend, let’s call him Kay has this tendancy to make fast friends, but maintaining them is a different story. One of the main issues is that he doesn’t have any filter and hates “fake” people, but doesn’t seem to truly realize that people are generally “grey”. As in, they do things, but you can’t always predict what they’ll do and find an explanation on why they’ll do it.
Kay grew up with a street hood mentality, where it is a, you fuck me, ill fuck you. You don’t like him, i won’t like him too. I did not grow up that way, nor do i share that perspective. He and I have spoken with this at length and i told him that the, cutting off of friends simply because another friend doesn’t like him is dangerous and I have been on the wrong side of it. Especially when I was in middle school, i was bullied for being the new kid and so I know what it feels like to be ostracized.
So fast forward, Kay tells me he doesn’t like me playing with Joe because Joe is a serial liar, a downer and gives up too easily. I don’t mind playing with Joe because we aren’t that close, but i think Joe plays fine and better than a regular pub irrespective of his personality flaws. Anyways, Kay tells me he is going to quit playing the game because he needs to focus on other aspects of his life. That evening, he finds out that I queued up a game with Joe. Kay blows up at me saying our talks were pointless and I don’t care about his feelings and I severely offended him by choosing to play with Joe. I told him that it was not personal and it isn’t meant to offend him.
I told Kay don’t think it is right for him to dictate/gatekeep whom I should or should not play with simply because Kay doesn’t like the individual. I also brought up another individual Bob who Kay had a recent falling out with. And I asked if that includes Bob too. Kay calls me ridiculous for comparing Bob and Joe and decides to walk out.
Kay calls me emotionally draining and completely toxic as a relationship because I can’t see his side of the picture and respect him.
Am I in the wrong or is my best friend in the right to see this as a betrayal of my loyalty?
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**tl;dr**: Kay doesn’t like Joe and got angry when I played a game with Joe and considers that I am betraying our friendship.