My boyfriend (23m) and I (23f) have been dating for 4 and half years now. Sometimes in general my bf can get an attitude over really dumb things. Like if I don’t hear what he said or if I forget something he said or if there’s something I don’t understand he can get a little angry. But it’s never been something to worry about. He used to never yell about anything like that but I could always tell his mannerism would change. But now, ever since he’s stopped smoking weed he’s been very rude to me over very dumb things. Like the other night while we playing video games with friends my bf yelled at me bc i didn’t understand why our friends ping was so high, i was just asked why he kept getting ping spikes and when my bf tried to explain it but I didn’t understand and he started raising his voice a bit and got this very degrading tone in his voice. All while we were in a party w our friends which was embarrassing. And there have been plenty of other similar instances where he just yells at me or gets a really mean tone bc I forgot something or don’t understand something. I love him so much but it’s like he’s been bipolar recently, he’ll go from his normal sweet caring voice to being mean and rude out of no where, I don’t get it.
We have hit some rough spots recently so there has been some added stress in our relationship but we’ve gotten through it and we’re moving on from it. So I think his change in behavior/aggressiveness has to do with him not smoking weed. He smoked for a long time and has taken breaks from it before but he’s trying to completely quit it now, and nothing like this has happened before. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t know how to control his emotions any more bc of how much the weed has dulled his feelings out. Or, maybe this is just how he is when he’s not high? Idk. And I know if I mention this to him he’ll only get angry again.
It’s also hard to have these types of conversations with him bc we don’t live together we don’t have enough money for an apartment and we both live w our parents 40 mins apart. We see each other once or twice a week tho and usually it’s spending the night together so on average I see him 3-4 days a week. Could be as low as 1-2 days tho. I don’t know what to do and how to make this stop. Every time he gets mean with me l bring it to his attention and he goes silent when I do, but he looks like he gets even angrier. But I think it might be because he feels guilty for the way he talks to me. I have noticed him trying to control his anger as well. Let me make it clear though he never hits me or threatens me he just gets really aggressive w his tone in his voice and I know this isn’t who is so l don’t know how to fix this.
Is this something can be helped/fixed?
TLDR
My boyfriend has been very rude since he stopped smoking weed. He gets really me a to me over dumb stuff. I don’t know if it’s. Because he doesn’t know how to control his emotion because of how much he used to smoke. Or maybe the weed was masking his real personality and I’ve just never noticed. I love him. I want to fix this and don’t know how. He almost acts bipolar now. He’ll go from his usual sweet “I love you” voice to this extremely degrading tone out of no where. I need help