This is something I have thought about a lot when working on my addiction. How after watching porn so long there is always this yearning for something new sexually all the time.
The urge used to be stronger but even thought it’s less today it’s still there. I got reminded about that recently when it was “selfie day” in a meme group I am in. It’s usually very ok. People don’t post half nude or things like that. Just regular selfies. Some post funny selfies. At least that’s how it used to be until this last time where two women posted not fully nude clothes but it was provocative.
And the thing is that it’s not like they were Instagram models or even of models that edit their photos to make it look special. Just regular people but provocative. My wife looks so much better without putting in any effort but when I saw it there was this tempting feeling of wanting to linger. Why? Because it was something new is what I came to conclusion after I left the page.
And that makes me so sad. That there is this desire for novelty. And I guess it’s the consequence of this constant desire for something new that porn has led to.
I am hoping to be able to get over it some day. I have a beautiful wife (that I definitely don’t deserve) and don’t need anything else. I am hoping that in time and with hard work this desire for novelty will one day die out of itself.