This is my first post here so do tell me if I’ve used the incorrect flair. Basically I’m 28(f) and not had much experience at all with sex, there’s factors including trauma and not being around guys because I was brought up in an eccentric way. But despite this I’ve started dating I’m looking for a LTR but with a stable (I know there’s gonna be ups and downs) sex life.
The trouble is I don’t know what defines as “kinky” and a few guys have said I won’t get a relationship unless I have kinky sex and that all men want kinky sex.
I don’t know what is defined as kinky and my being fear is being hurt, spat on, slapped and choked because of trauma and safety.
I feel like I won’t be enough, as they’ve all called me too vanilla because I would like erotic intimacy instead of straight up kink…
But what do you define as kinky and would guys be okay with dating someone “vanilla” I’m down for spanking and hair pulling but not straight up hitting and choking ect…
(Also I’ve had therapy, I’ll just never be okay with choking)