Last night I slept with a girl. We met up at a hotel with the intention of doing so. However, she spent the whole time, apart from when we were actually having sex on her phone. This included before when we were talking over a glass of wine and after. There was no cuddling, no aftercare, no nothing just her and her phone. I know I could talk to her about it but the fact this was a one night stand and she was so disconnected from me made me feel too uncomfortable to bring it up.
The reasons I’m frustrated is as follows:
1. I usually receive positive feedback and I’m very big on communicating throughout. She also seemed to really enjoy herself (obviously she could have faked it but let’s keep small parts of my ego intact), so I don’t think that I was so bad that she was trying to ignore me. She was genuinely just more interested in her phone and scrolling through instagram.
2. I read an article yesterday while I was travelling to meet up with her that young people are having less sex because of phones and how often we interact with them. I disagreed with the content because that’s mot the case for all the other girls I’ve been with. However, this girl just proved the articles point as I honestly had no desire to go for round 2 and was apprehensive about round 1 because I felt so disconnected.
3. Her communication skills must have been impacted by her phone. I usually try to find out what my partner likes but she was unable to articulate any of her desires, which made me a bit frustrated cause I want my partner to enjoy the experience. Not knowing their likes makes it so much more difficult.
This all just made me feel inadequate and made me question my ability to connected with my partner. Has anyone got any advice on how to approach this if I encounter it again or have experienced something similar.
TLDR: girl spent whole time before and after sex on phone. Made me very uncomfortable.
Edit: I would like to just say I was not expecting legitimate connection but I thought that it was absurd that she just sat on her phone. As I’ve said in one my responses to the comments I have slept with a sizeable number of people and it is the first time where I have been completely ignored before and after sex. I recognise this is a hookup but she specifically requested that I bring the wine so we could get to know each other a bit first and she has requested round 2. Plus we are in the same city together for the next few days.