I’ve been talking to my guy friend since Thanksgiving (going on 5 months now) and things are going really well between us. He’s a walking green flag for me. He tells me about all the girls who slide into his socials trying to flirt with him and tells me about the strange encounters of girls actually asking him to get with them, where he firmly states no. He doesn’t lie to me, he has no reason to, and he and I are basically the same person.
How we’re going about our relationship is he wants to make a firm friendship with me so he can make the transition into a relationship with me feel natural. His first and only relationship was worse than all three of mine combined, and I want him to feel as comfortable as he can with me, so I’m going at the pace he wants to and that’s perfectly fine with me. But he has stated everything between us is fine and that we’ll become official once he figures out how to make that transition with me.
That being said, we don’t flirt or talk with anyone else, we make time together, and our communication is fantastic. However, one of my roommates is acting incredibly strange and I feel like none of our other roommates are seeing it. This roommate, we’ll call her Sam, is the only roommate that’s not talking to anyone/in a relationship. The first time she met my guy friend, it was a good interaction, it lasted for about 5 seconds, but once he left and my roommates and I got dinner, she randomly brought up how she “stalked his Instagram right after he left.” It made me extremely uncomfortable, I tried telling the roommate I share a bedroom with, and she assured me that Sam was probably just trying to be protective of me and see if he’s a good person. Now, I’m beginning to believe that it’s not about protection of me anymore.
The second interaction between my guy friend and Sam was when my guy friend and I were watching a movie, Coda. Sam walked out of her room, said hi to my guy friend, which is fine, and noticed we were watching Coda. She says how she really liked that movie, he politely said, “Yeah, I’m really enjoying it,” and meant for that to be the end of it. However, she kept talking. She went on about how it was one of her favorite movies, how the characters were so good, and didn’t stop talking until she went back into her room. For context, at the time, she was being passive aggressive to me and not talking to me, so I found it really weird that she started acknowledging me only when he was there.
The most recent interaction, the event that made me want to make this post, was when I brought my guy friend up to meet my roommate’s cat, not Sam’s cat, again because her cat missed him. So her cat was playing with him, he was telling me about a true crime documentary he watched the night before, and immediately, Sam walks out of her room. She said her hi, he said hi back, and I thought she was just going to go to her studio. But instead, she knelt down beside my roommate’s cat, began playing with her instead and it led to an awkward interaction where he accidentally hit her with the cat’s toy and she slowly walked out of our room. That night, Sam and her roommate were talking in the living room while I was staying in my room because of a migraine. They didn’t know I was there and could hear them, so I heard Sam say, “The cat was being so nice to \[OP’s\] guy friend today!” and her roommate said that was good, meaning for it to be the end of the conversation. But Sam kept talking and said, “Yeah, the cat’s never nice to any of our other guy friends, maybe she’s on to something.”
I’m going to talk about what she’s doing with my guy friend because he doesn’t like it when I’m uncomfortable and not telling him what’s going on. He doesn’t like hearing me feel bad by myself, and I want to tell him what she’s doing because I feel like he deserves to know. I’m scared to bring it up with the rest of our roommates in fear of them taking her side and telling me that it’s all just coincidence. It’s happened way to much for it to just be a coincidence anymore and I don’t know what to do.
TL;DR – My roommate keeps making me uncomfortable by barging into my hangouts with my guy friend, saying that our cat was “on to something” by being friendly with him, and when I tried to talk to one of my roommates about it, they told me she was being this way out of protection.