Last night, my husband was VERY annoyed that I wanted to turn on the air conditioner. It was 77 degrees in my sons room and 80 degrees in my daughters room. My son is 5 months old and it was his first night sleeping in his crib – I wanted the environment to be nice and comfortable for him since I was the one staying in the twin bed with him and dealing with all of his night wake-ups.
I asked me husband to prepare the AC (it was winterized). He said “no” so I told him I will do it myself, just tell me what to do, to which he replied “no you won’t”.
15 minutes later I went to him and told him “I’m not asking for permission”, he can prep it or I will try to do it myself.
Later I went down to talk to him about it and he was very annoyed that I would want to to turn on the AC. He told me I was “chicken shit” for not wanting to sleep with ground-level windows open overnight (both our children sleep on this level).
He told me to “get away from him.” About 5 minutes later I went back downstairs to talk to him, because he has been crabby for week and I wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on (I was very upset at this point, and crying out of frustration). He did tell me repeatedly to “go-away” or “get the fuck away from him” (which I realized I should have left to deesclate the situation), but I wanted him to commit to a time when he would talk to me(later tonight, tomorrow,etc). He started asking me “leave me alone, do you not respect me?”. Once he started staying that I started to walk away as I realized I was probably provoking him at this point.
As I’m walking away he says “if you were a man I’d beat the shit out of you right now”.
I was horrified and immediately said “you need to leave the house”. His response was “or what?”.
I was so horrified I ran up the stairs crying and proceeded to cry for the rest of the night. Not because I was worried he would be violent toward me, but because I was so deeply sad that he would say that or think those thoughts.
I genuinely have no idea what to do. I do not want to get divorced with two small kids, and this isn’t a habit. I just don’t know if I can get over this. Any advice welcome.