TL;DR my boyfriend can’t seem to see me without pointing out something about my clothes that isn’t positive and it’s got me thinking he wants me to dress to his taste
My (46f) boyfriend (42m) of 6 months likes to make little jabs about my clothing. It started about a month into the relationship when I was wearing a fuzzy sweater and he called me a stuffed animal. Funny, I thought and didn’t give it any mind. My clothes are nice and I take care in my appearance and most people compliment my taste and I am confident and happy with how I dress and look.
As time goes on every time he sees me there’s a little tease, but not balanced out with positive things. He prefers women in skinny jeans and having heard that they’re out of style says it sucks because he says Gen Z looks bad and he hates baggy pants. Fine, have your opinion! All of my jeans and pants have a wider cut leg. Not baggy but age appropriate and not skinny. But now whenever he would see me, he would tease me for my GenZ pants. Once when I got out of the shower, he said I was a wet dog and then once I got dressed and ready, he said, “oh now you look pretty.” I gave him a warning look and later I told him that that was a completely inappropriate way to talk to me. He understood that it was not a good comment and apologized. Recently, we almost had broken up over something else and we were going to have a conversation and when he saw me for this conversation, he stepped back and told me I looked like a business lady. That’s when I told him these comments about how I dress are getting old And that it’s OK to tease once in a while, but he needs to balance it out with comments that build me up, or just you know don’t have to talk about how I look at all. He seemed to understand and apologize, and we were going to work things out. He said I was a very strong woman, and as he said that he started to mimic backing away, which I really got bummed about because I am a kind woman, even if I am a strong woman. Being unwilling to be mistreated doesn’t make me mean or scary. After that conversation, we decided to keep being together, and we were texting lightheartedly and it was raining and I stepped in a puddle and I texted him how funny that was and he said “oh, you got those gen z pants wet.” I didn’t reply to that and he followed up, “awesome Gen z pants.”
Honestly, I don’t like his clothes much and I wouldn’t pick any of them, but he likes them and feels good in them and I have never, nor would I ever, say anything to make him feel self-conscious or uncomfortable about them. I’m beginning to think that this teasing is controlling behavior and that he’s trying to get me to change how I dress to suit him better, and that he’s insecure and a bit immature for me.
Thoughts?