Through service work type jobs, I’m ok at chatting.
However I notice I never really make friends.
Probably it comes from that experience where disgorging some conversation is “part of the service” but also you have to set boundaries and consistently end it so you don’t get bogged down with drama.
As well as bad experiences where I was too keen and social and either got mocked and rejected, or the other person sees you as weak and tries to get sex, money, join their cult, etc etc
Right now I’m in an introverted phase because I’m at work all the time and got sick of feeling like I have to dole out excessive attention to everyone when the conversation isn’t that interesting, people get creepy, don’t feel I can reveal main things in my life. and when I think it over, I don’t even know who I want to get to know.
I know if I wanted to, I could turn on the “bubbly” behavior again, but when I don’t feel I’ll ever make friends with it, it seems like a waste of energy.
How can I improve this situation?