I am crazy in love with my GF, we have known each other for around 3 years but only been together about 18 months. She is the most thoughtful, caring, adventurous, loving person I have ever met. We spend most of our free time together, but still do our best to encourage each others outside interests.
We don’t live together but one of us stays at the others place, almost every night. I plan on proposing to her, and asking her to move into a new place with me (both of our leases are ending in the next few months).
Here is the situation. My GF had a very promiscuous college experience. I was aware of this when we were still just friends, and since then have a much better idea of just how promiscuous. I don’t have a problem with this, admittedly this is actually a kink, and yes I do frequent THAT sub before anyone DMs me (please don’t DM me). This did cause a small bit of friction when I came clean around the 9 months mark and we worked through it really well. To spell it out, my GF has been with somewhere between 80-100 other people.
Now, here is the problem. We started dating right at the tail end of college. After graduating, we both got jobs and so did a lot of our large and overlapping friend groups. So here a little over a year later I am still only “active friends” with 5 guys from our group. We hang out a few times a month and last week one of the guys asked me “How’s the old ball & chain” (he meant this as a harmless joke, guy has the sense of humor of a 60 year old) I told the guys that things were pretty serious, and I was thinking about proposing soon. 3 of the guys seemed happy for me and made pretty generic jokes about it. But 2 of my friends acted awkward.
Since then those 2 have reached out and asked me if I’ve really thought about this. They’ve pointed out her past and how she’s slept with most of the guys I know, including both of them, and do I really feel like she will stay loyal, isn’t using me, etc. I completely rebuffed everything they said, told them her past was just that, that I trust her completely, and have never been treated better by a partner (Ive had 3 serious girlfriends prior and plenty of dating experience).
I thought that was the end of it, and chalked it up to just friends looking out for each other. But today I received messages from both of them again asking me if I really wanted to be married to someone with that “history.” They weren’t derogatory, but it was much of the same from the first conversation and does have me upset.
So I’m looking for advice on the best way to tell them, that they can either drop it or we can permanently part ways. I don’t want to come off as confrontational, but I won’t put up with this. I also don’t want to create a rift in the overall group as it’s already down to basically 6 of us. My GF is priority at the end of the day so I’m prepared to lose friends but am wondering if there is a way to “solve” this situation without a lot of damage.
Lastly, please don’t shame my GF, I will block and report you.
TLDR: Friends are telling me not to propose to my girlfriend because of her past sexual history. Looking for advice on how to tell them to stay in their lane without breaking up the group or just having to leave it myself.