I (26M) had a rough upbringing. From an early age, my parents abused and neglected me. Because of that, I used to be depressed and suicidal for quite a while. Thanks to therapy and a lot of hard work, I’m doing much better since late 2021. For the last 2.5 years, I’ve been focusing on my education again (currently getting my master’s degree), but my main goal in life is to find love.
Unfortunately, I’ve never experienced love, neither in my family nor in romance. I had a couple of opportunities to get into a relationship or even a FWB type of arrangement, but I decided against it. So, I’ve never been in a relationship, I’m still a virgin, I haven’t even had my first kiss. All of this used to bother me and make me feel insecure about myself, but it doesn’t anymore. I sincerely want to wait for “the right one” (someone with whom I’ll feel a genuine connection and the desire to share my life with). I value dedication very highly and I’d love nothing more than to dedicate all of those aforementioned first-time experiences to this person and I believe that waiting for her would be worth it.
What does bother me is the following. I want to find someone who shares my beliefs and values when it comes to this topic and who’s waiting for me, just like I’m waiting for them, but in today’s society, I feel like I’m an outlier. I’m getting to know new people on a fairly regular basis, but I literally don’t know a single person other than myself who’s voluntarily staying celibate. By the way, I’m not judging anyone who decides to live their life differently that how I’m living mine, just to be clear. Anyway, to be completely honest, I feel like I’m searching for something that no longer exists and this is starting to make me feel anxious about my future. I guess, I just wanted to share this and see what kind of feedback (if any) I’ll be getting. Thanks in advance.