I (27F) started a new job and became work friends with a younger woman (early 20’s). She seemed like she was in a really hard spot with housing and life. One day at work she kept crying at her desk, and after work I came up to her with chocolate to see if she could be cheered up. She broke down and said she was planning on killing herself that night. A lot of it was surrounding her abhorrent and abusive living situation. We talked for a few hours and I offered to help her find an apartment. She was going to be a first time renter and didn’t completely understand the process/ it can be scary. Within a week we found an apartment she liked in her budget and I lent her the money for the deposit. After that she kept borrowing more and more money from me while getting set up and established, (over $2000) with the promise she would pay me back with her tax return. Months went by and it turns out her tax return was no where near enough to pay me back. No big deal, I didn’t mind if she was able to just give me a small amount every paycheck. When I asked her about it she became so angry she called off our friendship, but promised she would still pay me back. It’s now been four months and I haven’t gotten a penny. I have everything set up to take her to small claims court, but it feels wrong. I don’t have a lot of money myself and have had to move back in with my parents. Am I doing the right thing by taking her to court? I assume she has the money as she’s gone on vacations since I’ve asked for payments.
31 comments
I hate people so much.
Yes. She deceived you and exploited your kindness. She has no intention of paying you back. File the papers and get the judgement.
You took her out of an abusive situation and she has abused you
Take her ass to court. People like this need to learn. I love how they gaslight you.. like you’re the asshole for politely asking for your money.
They miss a payment, they start acting like there
Doing you a favor if they give you anything.
If it was 20 dollars, I would say good riddance, you got off cheap.
Yes, those are both mafia movie references.
Do you have a contract/anything in writing that she was planning to pay you back?
r/legaladvice will probably be more helpful here.
You just paid your first installment of “stupid tax”. Let it go. Forgive, and walk away. I had a step-brother that always called with problems, all of which could be solved with some of my money. I quit loaning him money, and a year later he died. Don’t loan what you can’t loose.
Also look into your HR policies. In my very large company it is against policy to lend money to or borrow money from a co-worker, client, or vendor. Depending on the size of your company and the field you work in, it might be better to take the loss then potentially face disciplinary action from your job.
Edit: a word
Sue her. She’s completely taking the piss, and going on holidays with money she scabbed from you.
So it’s totally wrong what she did, unless you have a signed agreement. Your wasting your time. Besides if you do get a judgment against her then what? Use this as a learning experience and move on. You have and will waste more time than the 2k
Take her to court, save every text, promise note or any paper trail. It’s time for her to pay you back. $2,000 is no small amount of money and if she has money for vacations then she very clearly never intended to pay you back. Sue her ass
Call up judge judy, judge jerry, or peoples court.
You can take her to small claims court, but even if you win — you have a judgement. It will be up to you to find her assets or state a claim on her pay check. Those court TV shows will pay the judgement if you win, otherwise it’s on you to collect on a judgement. BUT
You kept loaning her money without repayment. If someone doesn’t repay the first loan and you keep loaning them money, at some point, it’s in you AND
If she promised to pay you from her tax return and she didn’t receive enough of a tax return to fully repay you, she fulfilled her promise to pay from her tax return??
She took advantage of you. It is not wrong. Get your money back.
Relationship advice people don’t like to hear advice like this but the truth is, you don’t need to help everyone. Let the government help these people. Now, you gotta go to court to get what’s rightfully yours. Good luck.
>I assume she has the money as she’s gone on vacations since I’ve asked for payments.
And meanwhile you’ve lost your home because she didn’t give back the money she had promised. Don’t feel bad about taking her to court.
Tell your other coworkers in case she makes a habit of asking for loans she won’t repay.
She took advantage and then projected and blamed you like it was your fault. Eff her. Take her to court and don’t feel bad about it. She didn’t feel bad taking advantage of you.
Yup, take her to court. Also, remember that too nice is not nice. Never lend money that you’re going to want back.
Absolutely take her to court. Make sure that you set it up so that she has to pay your filing fees too. She cheated you and should repay her debt. She sounds like a grifter too me.
you are a very kind person, OP. I’m sorry that it was taken advantage of.
Take her ass to court and document EVERY contact you have with her. If she gets hostile at work, go to HR.
Honestly, just move on and learn from this. Your quest for justice may harm you even more with loss of time and more frustration
Yes. You’re doing the right thing. I mean, the scenario you wrote her definitely common in small claims court.
Also tag on the price of the filing fee in your lawsuit.
Gather up your evidence (text evidence is useful) and any communication on her promising to pay and proof when the last time she paid you and how much $$ she has left to pay and let the judge know you were more than happy to let her make payments in increments but she just plain not pay for the last 4 months.
Chances are high she never was in an abusive relationship and is just a con artist. So report her to your HR and take her to small claims court to get the money back. Or maybe she really was in a bad spot.
Look, your heart is in the right place and you helped someone you truly believed needed the help. And maybe she did, but she still took advantage of you regardless of her circumstances. Shitty circumstances for someone don’t mean they get a pass on being equally shitty to others.
Stand up for yourself, take her to small claims court and report her to your job. And maybe warn your coworkers about her too.
And if you want to help people volunteering with an established organization, referring people to those organizations and donating to things like food kitchens or women’s shelters is the way to go. Don’t let her crush that spirt, but you do have to establish boundaries or unfortunately this can happen. I’ve been there myself, not with the money since I had none to give but I still let myself get taken advantage of a time or two for having a soft heart. So working with organizations and putting people in touch with resources or brief short-term help and money you know you will never get back is the best way to go.
Yes, take her to court. She played you.
I might show her the paperwork and give her one more chance to pay you back.
I would take her to court and if you win ask for a garnishment against her wages!!
Sorry that you were used by her!!
I would write this off as a loss and become a dick going forward. For people that wonder why people are “dicks” or “heartless” – this is why.
Stop trying to save others. Not your monkeys, not your circus.
I wouldn’t take her to court. Lesson learned
>It’s now been four months and I haven’t gotten a penny. I have everything set up to take her to small claims court, but it feels wrong.
It’s not wrong. You got scammed.
It’s not wrong at all. She took the money and she has to pay it back.
Almost all these comments are to take her to court. Do not do that. It will be a waste of money you do not have.
She did not steal this money. You gave it to her.
There are no written contracts she agreed to paying you back. It’s her word against yours.
It will cost hundreds if not thousands in lawyer fees, and the likely hood you’ll win is minimal.
Even if you DO win; you can’t force her to pay. The court MAY garnish wages after years without payment but it will be years and it will require more money, lawyers and court orders from you.
This is nothing but an expensive life lesson; Do not lend money to “friends” if you expect to get it back.
Yes you are, doesn’t matter if she was in a tight spot, this is going to be a life lesson for her that when you borrow significant amounts of money from someone, there is a consequence for not following through