We’ve been together 10 months. He is so loving, sweet, attentive, and thoughtful.
The first time we ever had sex, he ate me out multiple times and didn’t penetrate me. I asked why and he informed me that he had a large penis. He was correct. We ended up having penetrative sex later that night and it went super well. He asked for consent super often, checked in often, and was sensual and passionate. We’re both very sexual and have sex incredibly often when we can.
I’ve always been a bit of a deviant into rough sex, choking, slapping, being dominated, and every now and then having my limits pushed. When we first met, I would tell him to be more rough, to talk dirty, to choke and spank me.
The issue is, he has taken this and RAN WITH IT. We don’t often get space to ourselves, but when we do, he now tries to go as hard as humanly possible. I almost always end up with a bruised cervix. He does always make me cum by oral, and cuddles with me afterwards.
Today, we had the place to ourselves for the second time in a couple weeks. We took a nap together and when we woke up, he initiated sex. I was still sore from my last bruised cervix( last week) , so I kept telling him to slow down, and he would for a bit, and then he’d say “I know you can take it” and go back to rough. Now, this turns me on like CRAZY, so in the moment I’m like FUCK YEAH. But as soon as I came, I was in SO MUCH PAIN. He instantly noticed, and brought me ibuprofen, started rubbing my back, making sure I was okay. I started crying and he asked what was wrong, and I said “I don’t want you to hurt me”
We have had multiple long talks regarding this since. I’ve researched sub space and sub frenzy and sub drop and I think these are all a combo of what’s going on. He has agreed to no longer push my limits, to check in on me more during sex, and that we will not have sex for a month for my uterus to heal.
For the most part, I think that we’ll get over this, but for now I feel icky and gross and just shitty. I know he would never hurt me on purpose, but today has just left me in shambles. He used to be SO gentle every step of the way, and now he says he doesn’t do it anymore because he “knows I can take it”
I asked him why he has been so rough, and he says he tries to make me feel as good as I can. I told him that sometimes the best feeling is when he’s gentle and sensual. He seemed very receptive but I’m worried I’ve made a mistake by telling him how rough I liked it.
This may be mostly a vent post to get my mind in order because there’s no way in hell I’m using a whole ass therapy session on this, but I think I also want some input on what others think.