We’ve just had our first baby, she’s a five month old now, been together with my wife for almost six years. My wife is on maternity leave and she basically just takes care of our baby now. I work some evenings outside the house, but mostly, I work from home. My job really depends on my own discipline and how much I can fill my day with working. Right now, we’re trying to save up for a mortgage (we’re renting) and I have to keep earning and work on a higher level, than usual, at least for the next year or so. I have days, where the family takes up my whole time, being just regular infant stuff or trips to the doctor (I’m the only driver); sometimes I’ll start my working day late, or sometimes I’ll just postpone stuff for another day. I gotta say, I’ve never felt so much pressure to maintain focus as our financial future depends on it. I feel like I’m the only one really understanding this, but still I get occasional passive-aggressive guilt trips from my wife how I don’t spent enough time doing the stuff she does, i.e. “she’s crying in your arms, cause she’s not used to you putting her to bed”. I just can’t stand it, cause in reality, I’m always there, available, doing the chores around the house or a baby, waking up in the night, lulling her back to sleep (it’s basically my thing in the night). And I also MUST work. I don’t mind spending my time with a baby, I actually, enjoy it more than working. But those remarks are driving me crazy. They’re often out of the blue and I feel like I’m being punished by actually SPENDING my time with them. I admit, I’m writing it a bit hot-headed, as I’ve literally just spent three days not working, going to the doctors, on the family walks, cooking dinners and watching Netflix with my wife. And now I’m feeling guilty I hadn’t worked, and on the top of that, I got this unreal remark.
I realize as I’m writing this that this is maybe minor thing and I’m whining, but well.
I can only imagine how hard it would be, if I had a 9-5 job outside the house.
1 comment
Have you told her this? Good marriages are built on communication.