Me (F) and boyfriend (M) have been dating for two months now. In the beginning we would have sex without protection and that led me to take over the counter birth control pills a good few times.
Because of which my period cycle became irregular and I’m losing appetite and I have this constant urge to pee and other stuff too.
I talked to him after the first time and he was like okay we’ll use protection, and then we never did because when we were doing it, I didn’t wanna ruin the mood by saying it and he wouldn’t even care to use it himself.
After a couple of times me taking the pill, I had a proper conversation with him that if we don’t use protection, we’re not gonna have sex because I can’t keep taking pills and then I’m super paranoid the whole time. And we’ve been using protection.
But we just spent the weekend together and when we didn’t use protection initially and then I stopped him and we did.
The problem is I keep bringing it up before sex, and he doesn’t care about it at all. And I’ve mentioned it to him that I get paranoid, and I don’t think it matters to him with the way I always have to remind him.
Secondly now I’m paranoid again because of the weekend and the no protection thing. I don’t want to spend good time with him and later just be paranoid about it the whole time, because then I don’t want to do it.
I don’t want to discuss this with him because I feel like he’ll agree in the moment and it’s gonna be the same. Because it happens so often.
What do I do?
3 comments
Sounds like you are with a man who doesn’t care about what could possibly happen when having unprotected sex, nor does he care about you or your body, seeing as tho he’s totally okay with you taking plan b’s (I’m assuming that’s what you mean by over the counter bc) like you are popping them out of a pez despenser. That is so not good for your body.
This is not the way man should be treating you. He’s acting very careless, and you need to put your foot down about using protection.
I wouldn’t stay with this dude– he is clearly not listening and letting you put your body through UTTER upheaval.
Emergency Contraception is for EMERGENCIES. Not for taking multiple times a month.
And, your situation is similar to another top post right now of a girl who, also, “can’t say no.” You need to just say “NO, that penis is not going in me without a condom on it. Go get one and put it on if you would like to do this. We have talked about it.”
That is just as much in your control as his.
I would lay down the law (if you wish to stay in this relationship at all.)
* Your penis will not be going in my vagina ever again without a condom on it. Period. If you would like to put your penis in my vagina, you need to bring a condom and put it on.
* I will not be taking an Emergency Contraceptive pill ever again (unless, of course, a properly-used condom that you have put on accidentally breaks)… No condom, no EC, welcome to fatherhood. I cannot keep putting my body through that. Those are your options.
I would ALSO bring your own condoms– but, don’t make it clear that you have done that. Just have them there in case he plays dumb and YOU end up not wanting to forgo sex due to his non-compliance- but, also, I’d hope that continued willful refusal to protect your best interests would be enough of a lady boner killer to have that not ever be the case.
He needs to demonstrate that he equally cares about contraception and is honoring your boundaries.
I would also strongly consider getting on hormonal BC– it is great as a back-up, and is so much kinder/gentler on your body than taking EC all the time. I might consider not telling him that you’ve done that, though, because, again, this is about him demonstrating some kind of equal responsibility for the sex that he, also, is having, and it’s just there to prevent you having to take that wallop of an EC dose in case of accident.
Uhh, what? How have you managed to use EMERGENCY contraceptive “a good few times” in only TWO months?!!! Those pills wreak havoc on your body. They are NOT meant to be used as birth control. If you’re going to have sex, it’s condoms every single time and/or you need to see a doctor for birth control. What you’re doing right now is incredibly dangerous, naive, and immature.
Equally, the fact that your partner dismisses and ignores your concerns is a massively unsafe problem. Don’t allow access to you/your body to people who don’t respect you.
What you’re doing now will result in pregnancy. Full stop. If you’re not ready for that, it’s time to immediately make some major changes.