tl;dr: i want to end a good relationship with my boyfriend and i could use advice on how to go about this.
i (22F) want to end my perfectly fine relationship with my boyfriend (20M) of two years. we rarely fight, he’s a nice and genuine guy. i just don’t feel like i want to be in this anymore in my heart and in my gut. i have recently found myself fantasizing about being single or being with other individuals. how do i go about this situation? i know that he’s probably going to be shocked. he told me a couple of years ago that he felt the same way that i’m feeling now but it seems as if that feeling has faded for him. i just feel so guilty for continuing a relationship that i’m not fully in. any advice would be extremely helpful. thank you.
2 comments
You’re both very young, you two should not be planning your life around someone else yet, ideally. Why did y’all prices with the relationship if he wasn’t interested?
I would sit him down and say that you realize that it may seem sudden but, you’ve realized that, despite your relationship being good, your head and heart are no longer attached to the future of the relationship, and that you’d like both of you to be able to have different experiences while you’re still young.
And then, don’t change your mind if he begs. Don’t be heartless but don’t give in.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Though I don’t think it’s about fantasizing others; you describe him as a great person yet simply don’t want to continue.
Maybe your heart just isn’t in it. I personally have been in relationships as a young person and I can differentiate when my heart was in it versus not; I would stay for those I felt it was in it.
This will be a big decision so take your time thinking it; you want to end something good to experience something a lot of people fantasize but ends up not being all that great.
When you realize it’s not all that out to be single and sleep with whoever, if you made the decision to break it off you owe him the curtesy to never contact him again. If you’re going to do this, do not half ass it. It will only hurt both of you. Let him heal and keep your word.
My sincere advice is truly think it out, I understand your youth as I am in that same spot, but truly the grass is not always greener and finding true compatibility is hard. Think about why you truly want this.
You owe no one a relationship nor an explanation as to your feelings but you will be the bearer of the results of your decision, not him. This is something hopefully Reddit doesn’t persuade you with and you do some true introspection on your own as to making your decision.
Just know every day you have these thoughts, he is in the dark about it. He does not know. If you choose to end it, it will probably be very painful and sudden for him. Try to be respectful of that as it was a good relationship and don’t do anything to piss on that. Live your life but respect his wishes if he doesn’t want contact or anything.