I (24M) am a pretty strong dude. I’ve developed some habits I’m very proud of; I take care of my body without obsessing over it. I journal almost every day, sometimes more frequently when I’m struggling. I make sure to get some sun and go for a walk whenever possible. I like to read, and stoicism has done wonders for my mental. I spend minimal time on my phone, and don’t use social media (besides Reddit hehe). I’ve educated myself and recently got an engineering job where I travel 2/4 weeks a month (more on that later). I’m really proud of all this.
I have a wonderful girlfriend (24F) and we share enjoyment in a lot of these things together! We’re so present in each-others company and find some so much joy in the simple things. It’s always a treat to spend time together.
I spent some time in therapy in the past trying to understand my relationship blocks. I’ve struggled with a previous S/O partying a little too much for my liking and previously had no way to process it. We were in college where late nights and over-consuming were commonplace. I tried to take responsibility for MY issues and see if therapy could get to a place of understanding, but I couldn’t figure it out.
I am grateful for the grief because it got me where I am now – in a wonderful relationship with a woman who facilitates conversation, and supports me like no other! I consistently communicate with my S/O, focusing on myself while trying to remain mindful that she is her own woman and has her own world of things that make her happy.
I struggle with her and her pretty dresses, drinking, and staying out until the bar shuts down. It’s the norm where I live (big city), but I’m past that. I find so much more joy in other things. I want to let her be herself, but it’s very hard traveling and going to sleep in an odd place thinking about her looking so damn good, late at night, in a foreign place (she travels a lot as well)! I journal about this a lot but I keep running into the same problems; Trouble falling asleep, a bad taste in my mouth, etc.
So; I am confident that I’ve done my work and think this is something I simply don’t like. But I love her a whole lot. I guess I need to figure out how to cope with this? Does anyone have any experience similar to this they can share? How have you came to terms with your S/O enjoying situations like this?
TL/DR: I (24M) have pretty healthy habits and think I’ve worked pretty well through my issues, I need help figuring out how to let a beautiful woman be a beautiful woman!