Update: I was trying to compromise and she said I was a disappointment and I should get on my knees and beg her to stay with me. I broke up with her, and now she’s screaming at the top of her lungs and crying downstairs. I’m distraught
I (27M) have been dating my girlfriend(28M) for 2 years now.
Our fights have been over her feeling neglected in the relationship.
For context, I’m blue collar and work a lot to provide for us. She’s responsible for half the rent and her car/insurance. I pay for EVERYTHING else. And still help her with her bills when she has needed it…which over the last year has been 6/10Months. I pay for all the other bills and utilities, household items, clothes and makeup for her, getting her nails done at least once or twice a month…etc.
I worked 65hrs last week. Saturday and Sunday. I came home on Sunday and cleaned the house and did the chores that were backlogged.
I grabbed dinner for us and we sat down to watch my girlfriends anime, we watched it for an hour, and then I had 30 minutes before I had to go to sleep to get 8hrs of rest before waking up in the morning.
I read before bed to ease my mind and help decompress. I told my girlfriend I wanted to read while we watch the next episode because I only had 30mins left. She lost it when I didn’t back down from needing some time to decompress, and she said I was neglecting her in the relationship and she’s going to find someone else. Opened up tinder and downloaded it next to me. And started going off on me about how I don’t meet her needs.
I don’t understand why I don’t deserve 30minutes to myself. I’m not interrupting her watching the show, and I give 90% of my free time to her/us. I don’t ever ask her for anything besides 2 things, going to sleep on time, because if I’m tired I can get grievously hurt in my line of work(I fell on a roof and had to go to the hospital in January because I was so tired after one of our fights) and some time before bed to read and decompress my brain.
We’re supposed to be splitting the chores based on who works more throughout the week, but I’ve asked for help several times and she’s always going through something, whether she’s tired, depressed, sad, emotional from hormones changes, on her period, etc.
Something snapped in me last night. I think I’m really starting to fall out of love with her and I don’t know what to do. She says I’ve been neglecting her but I literally give her all my free time and make sure to do date activities whenever possible.
I really love her and want to make it work, but it’s really starting to affect me. We’ve gone through so much together, I’ve been with her through her kicking alcoholism and she’s been with me through leaving abusive friendships where I was being taken advantage of. I don’t know how to satisfy both of our needs. I feel that my needs are very simple and easy to accomplish, and I’m always meeting 90% of her expectations but I’m never good enough.