Like the title says, I’ve slowly begun to realize that I’m a man-child. I’m almost 30, I have a well-paying stable job, I’m about to get married in 2 months. But my whole life is just work, go home, consume social media, eat, play video games, and repeat. I feel like I don’t know how to do anything.
I’ve lived with my parents my whole life, except on two occasions. I went to a boarding school for 2 years in highschool, and I went abroad for 5 years for college. Apart from that, I’ve lived with my parents and I still do. I also won’t be moving out after I’m married.
I’m an only child, and from what I’d gathered, there have been unsuccessful pregnancies both before and after me. Needless to say, I was a spoiled kid. I still am. I’d never had to do chores or housework. Even now as a 30-year-old man I don’t do housework. When I try to do the dishes my parents tell me to leave it because they were going to do it. I know how to cook but I don’t. My mom cooks most of the time when she comes home from work, or we get takeout. I don’t know where anything is in the house and I don’t know how to do anything. If I want some tape or some rope or tools I have to ask my dad. If I get a cut I have to ask my mom for bandages and disinfectant. For household repairs I still haven’t gotten past the flashlight holder position. When we need something for the house like light switches or cooking oil or whatever, it’s either my mom or my dad that knows the stores and knows what to ask for. I can’t haggle with street vendors either and I don’t know how to buy things if they aren’t sold in a supermarket. I don’t know about legal matters either. I don’t know how to do taxes for the house, I don’t know about land deeds, deeds for the car, I don’t know shit. At family functions or events I don’t know how to talk to relatives or talk to strangers. I don’t remember people and I keep having to ask my parents or fiance or coworkers for names of people I’ve already met repeatedly. I dread the day my parents die because I wouldn’t know who to call.
The other day I got into a car accident. I made a turn too fast and hit a motorcycle head-on. Thankfully no bodily injuries were sustained but the bike needed to have some parts replaced. As we were assessing the damages I realized I didn’t know jack shit about motorcycles, where to get spare parts for motorcycles, or really about anything at all. My fiance was with me thankfully and she took care of all the talking. She made a list of all the parts that needed to be replaced, called up people to ask for quotes and shops, negotiated with the motorcyclist because he gave a quote that was higher than what it should be, the works. I just stood there behind her and stared at the motorcycle. After the accident we went back to my house to show my dad the damages, and he was the one doing all the emergency repairs on the car to make it drivable while I was the fetcher going in and out of the house to grab whatever he needed.
I’m sick of not knowing. I’m sick of having to call my parents for the littlest things, things that normal people already know. I’m sick of wanting to get approval for something before I can do it. My parents aren’t going to be around forever and I don’t want to be left alone and mismanage the household. I don’t want my soon-to-be wife to babysit me when she moves in. I don’t want to get scammed by people who realize I’m a man-child. How do I do it? How do I grow up, and how do I become a normal adult?