I’m (39M) an introvert with ADHD and social anxiety. I’ve gotten so used to being solitary and self-sufficient, and when I plan my evenings it’s usually all about what I’m going to do when I get back to my room and have some privacy.
And yet, I still want to have a social life. I still envy the people I see around me socializing and making friends, and I do want to be a part of that. But apart from how I tend to clam up around people, the fact is that even when I see opportunities to join groups and connect with people, I keep retreating to the solitary plans I’ve made for myself.
I feel like I need to be able to get myself in a more sociable mood before I can dive into groups like that, so that the prospect of joining a group of people isn’t a disruption of the quiet plans I have for myself, but rather an opportunity to be fun and spontaneous for a change.
How can I mentally prepare myself? What should I be telling myself during the day, so that the moment those opportunities arise I’m ready to dive into them, instead of running the other way?