I’ve been seriously dating her for a just a few months, but I like her a lot and we are spending increasing amounts of time together. However, she has plans to get a breast reduction and it is freaking me out. The reason it’s freaking me out is because her boobs *are not that big*. To me they look maybe slightly above average. She says they are C-D depending on how much weight she’s put on. She is planning to take them down to basically flat chested.
This is freaking me out for a few reasons.
(1) her reasons for getting it just don’t make much sense. She has no good medical reason. Her real reason as far as I can tell is straight up body dysmorphia. They “feel like a deformity” to her. I really don’t know how to interpret this except as an irrational hatred of her own body. There is in fact some precedent here: before I met her she was hospitalized for an eating disorder. So, to me this all seems like a big psychic red flag. It is hard for me to interpret this decision as anything but a manifestation of severe body dysmorphia.
(2) I’m very attached to the way she looks now, and I don’t want her to change. I think she is so beautiful, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about how she’ll look with a reduction. I straight up don’t think she’ll look very good with a reduction. Obviously I haven’t said this, but it’s the truth. It’s also not like I have some fixation with breast size. Most of my past girlfriends in fact have been quite flat chested. I don’t care. It’s just that with her build and proportions I low-key just don’t think it’s gonna look very good.
(3) According to my and her research (a) there is a good chance that she will lose nipple sensitivity and (b) she will almost certainly lose the ability to breast feed in the future. I guess (a) is more on her, but it bothers me too. That erogenous zone is part of what makes sex fun (for both of us. I like giving her pleasure there). (b) bothers me because there is a non-negligible chance that I will want children in the future, and I think breast-feeding as much as possible is important for a child’s physical and mental development. I’m not sure I’d want to have children with someone who can’t breast feed *at all*. Perhaps this indicates that she is committed to not having children, which is an issue in itself.
So, tldr, my new girlfriend wants a breast reduction. It comes with serious risks and serves no medical purpose. What should I do? What does this mean? Am I being an asshole for being afraid of this?