As the title says I have this gut feeling one of my friends is acting weird around my bf but I’m not sure if it’s just me. Let’s call my friend Amy, her bf Joe and my bf Nick.
A bit of context: me and my bf have been together for 8 years. She and her bf 6 yeras or so. Around 5 years ago Amy and I used to work for the same company (that’s how we met). We became friends. By chance my bf joined Joe’s company and they became friends. We got together frequently, sometimes the four of us, sometimes with other couples. We are all from a small town.
My bf and I moved to a bigger city a few years ago because of work and we stayed in touch. Last year Amy and Joe announced they wanted to move here since opportunities are better here. We are now living daily close again. Since they don’t know anyone in this city we have been hanging out with them a lot and some things Amy does or says just rub me the wrong way. I don’t think at all that something serious is happening but I still don’t like it.
Things like:
– she always initiates some banter with Nick. Every time we meet she has a reason to “bother” him, the last time she even said she was doing it to get a reaction out of him.
– The four of us have pretty similar interests when it comes to books/movies but every time we see eachother Amy comments on something she and Nick talked about in private. It’s little things like “I started the book you recommended” (even though I also recommended it to her just a week before) or “remember what we talked about this..” or “lets do that thing I shared on insta” and stuff like that that does not happen in our group chat.
– she always makes sure Nick is somewhat paying attention to her. Example: On purpose the last time they were home I offered her coffee on three different occasions (she’s a coffee lover) and she always said “later”. Literally five minutes after the last time I asked she goes “Nick, could you make me a coffee?”. I’m a mug collector, I have tons of mugs. My bf has only one (he only likes that one). Amy insists on using it to “be Nick” (whatever that means).
– We usually sit in the same spots around the table, last weekend they switched, I was in front of Joe instead of Amy and Amy was in front of Nick. At some point during the night she laughs and asks if Nick is “caressing her feet” under the table. Nick says no. She laughs and says she thought she felt something, it must have been the cat. I look at the cat and he is peacefully sleeping nowhere near us.
– We all used to play this online game. They stopped playing and moved to a new one. Now she is constantly asking Nick to move on to that new game. Not once she has asked me.
– Nick got invited to a movie we all wanted to see by some other friends of his. Amy told me (in our private chat) that we (Joe, her and me) should go to the same showing than Nick’s “as a joke”. I said no, that was weird. She implied I “forced” Nick to go with that other group and that’s why he wouldn’t be watching the movie with us.
There are other small things but those are good examples I think. I don’t consider myself a particularly jealous person but in this case I’m not sure if I’m overreacting. I haven’t discussed this with my bf and I need an external perspective.
Some extra context here:
Nick is a very chill person. He does not like drama and I’m sure he hasn’t noticed this. Back home, before we moved, we had a discussion because Amy wanted to use a nickname for Nick that I considered romantic. I said no several times, I told him and Amy I was not comfortable with her and Joe using that nickname. They told me I was overreacting and I that I was very stressed about the move. I let it go because I thought maybe they were right.
Way before I met Amy, like 12 years ago, Joe was dating another one of my friends (again small town) and, while in that relationship, he said he loved me and wanted to be with me instead. I rejected him, told my then friend and, even with screenshots and everything she decided to continue their relationship and stop being friends with me. Through mutual friends I heard they broke up shortly after. We were very young then so I don’t hold it against him but I have definitely kept my distance from Joe after we reconnected. I’m nice and interact with him on our group chat and live but never just the two of us.
What baffles me the most is that both Joe and Amy are jealous people. I’m pretty sure Amy would be super pissed at me if I were acting around Joe the way she is acting around Nick.
But again, I have never considered myself a jealous person so maybe this is just me being jealous of their connection as friends? I just don’t want to open up a can of worms. If this is me being jealous I’ll try to work it out on my own.
Thanks for your input on this!!
Tl;dr: i feel a friend of mine and my BF’s is acting inappropriately around him but I don’t know if this is me being jealous or is actually something I should bring up with him.
Tdlr