My fiancé works extremely long hours part of the year and this is the second year that I’ve taken on all/ most of the household burden. By long hours I mean 80 hours a week, for about 4 months of the year. Meanwhile I work a full-time WFH job as well, as well as clean the house, cook every meal for us both except if we eat out (rarely), and take care of our dog (exercise and feeding). We don’t have kids.
I can deal with this to do a solid for my partner while he’s working crazy hours. Nevermind the bigger conversation of how long his job choice is sustainable, especially because I make much more than him.
But it’s hard to not resent him because this extra household workload seeps into the rest of the year too. I am the daily driver for our household. He does do the laundry 80% of the time and does a deep clean of the house biweekly. That’s great and I could even be fine with that, but the big problem has become the COMPLAINING. The best word to describe it is whining. I am writing this now because he was complaining and whining the whole time while loading the dishwasher (after I cooked dinner and a dessert, emptied the dishwasher, and partly loaded it already), so I left to take the dog for a walk. He finds something to whine about every time I *ask* him to do a chore.
I need constructive solutions. Is a chore chart the way to go? He won’t read a book or listen to a podcast with me. I need talking points to handle my feelings and a change in our routine. Thanks in advance!