My (34f) boyfriend (40m) doesn’t seem to understand how i feel

Sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language.

\[tldr at the end\]

I’ve been with my bf for 8 years now. He really is a great guy in a lot of things, but some years ago he got a new job in which he’s basically the only man (he is working two jobs because he refuse to leave one of them because he like the environment, that means he always have to match shifts and stuff and i think it’s a bit too much, but whatever, he’s good and does not seem like he will change his mind). I was never the jealous type, EVER, but things are not going well (at least for me) recently, we barely see each other once a week or sleep together (he have a house, but we don’t live together for many reasons, one of them is he not doing any job since he got the house, we barely have something to use as a table). There was a lot of things that made feel uncomfortable since he had this job, i’ve tried to tell him MANY times, seriously, as a joke, even arguing.
last year he spent several months with out of town days for work, so of course we could not see each other, but he was all happy that he found an old coworker (female) there and they went to dinner together and stuff. That was the first time i felt uneasy.
Another time we were together and he start searching little gifts for his coworkers for easter because “they always bought somethings to eat”, which i did non really consider weird, but as i joke i aske “what about my gift, then?” and he told “my mom is searching for it”. your mom? really?
We don’t do anything like weekend or trip together since YEARS, due to money, work, etc; now we got the occasion of a weekend outside for a marriage, and the first thing he said was “we can go to see my xx coworker, she works there”. Another time i was mentioning a place in which i would like to go with him, and he says the same exact thing.
In the past MONTHS i’ve keep telling him how moved i was when a sweet old lady where i used to work, gave me a rose. One day she came to the shop with this beautiful flower and i noticed, she told me that she get flowers for herself because her husband never gave her any, i told here that neither do mine, and she came back a bit lather with a rose for me. I nearly cried.
In my 8 years i’ve never seen a flowers from him, even if the topic was bought up sever times. I told him about this lady and how much i loved it, he told “ok, i’ll buy you flowers then”. Never seen them since.
There was the international woman day and i told him that i love mimosa, i joked about him NEVER get me a flower, so he could at least give me one for the woman day. He said like “fine, i’ll get you one, so i could get them for my coworkers too”. i honestly was devastated. it was my FIRST flower from him in 8 years, and he just went to the mall, picked up a bunch of things for “everyone” and that’s all. I threw that thing away some days later.
Now this month he has a weekend out with his friend for the bachelor party, so his work shift was really condensed, i had to get out of town for a weekend myself for a seminary, so we literally have three days in an entire month to see each other. He refused to not going to a dinner with his coworkers despite it being in one of the only two nights we could spend together (“i could not made up an excuse not to go, it would be rude!” yeah but one of his coworker did not had a problem to not go because her husband have a visit the next day).
Some days ago he was out of town for work, he literally disappear since 10.30pm, i was worried and keep texting him knowing that the next days i would be to the seminary and we couldn’t get in touch much; then he texted me telling me that an ex old lady coworker called him and keep him on the phone for two hours. i was baffled. i told him that was AWFUL knowing that I WAS HOME expecting even just a message, he keep tell that it was an unexpected situation and didn’t know the call would be so long, that this old lady is all alone and sad.
i told him fine, but you can’t even send a text TO ME but you could stay two hours on the phone with this lady?!
i bursted and get mad, told him about the flowers, this call thing, the fact that we can’t spend ONE day without him mentioning one of his coworker, but he does not really seems to understand, he said that that was not his intention, that he care about me, and yes, i know he did not do all that because he does not care, but i’m so tired of him being THIS MUCH dumb about certain things.
I’ve been crying for two days, i feel so sad and frustrated, i’ve been literally saying things for years, why do he can’t get ANYTHING?!
Am i being too much? I told him i’m tired of this situation in which we can barely see/hear each other and but he constantly talking to me about all this girls and how lovely everyone is towards him. I was never a jealous type, and i hate the fact that this all is making me feel so insecure.

\[tl;dr: boyfriend works in an all lady-environment, two jobs, lot of heavy shifts, we barely see each other once a week, always mentions his coworkers, giving gifts to them, but he’s being totally clueless that this situation is starting to be too much for me, even when the topic is clearly mentioned. He gave me a flower for the first time in our 8 years relationship, but he choose to take them for all his coworkers too.\]