Basically I met this girl at work at the end of summer,she was different from everybody else I’d ever met,extremely beautiful,the kind of girl you’d only see in paintings. We got close,and then closer,until she made it clear to me that she was interested. I have always had a very romantic and sentimental way of viewing relationships and I never get into them unless I’m sure I want to spend the rest of my days with that person,which is why I had never dated before her and I have never really “fallen in love” with anybody before. Unfortunately she was perfect for me but I wasn’t for her;
The time we spent together was amazing and we both enjoyed it very much,I could see she was feeling better with me than when she was with her ex boyfriend,but even putting that aside,it was just us when we were together and the rest of the world seemed to disappear and it was beautiful,all of it. A couple of months ago though she decided to end things because she said she was afraid to hurt me and that she didn’t want a serious relationship at the time. I’m not really going to be writing all of the reasons she gave in detail because I actually doubt any of them were completely ture,maybe they were at the time but she changes mind all of the time pretty much constantly.
Another factor which caused this all to end,which is the biggest and most obvious one,is that she is affected by Borderline Personality Disorder,so the relationship was bound to end at some point for whatever reason. She has been long obsessed with this famous guy,about my same age,he’s handsome,tall,golden smile and has the most defeatingly nice demeanor any human could ever dream to have. Literally the ideal wattpad type boyfriend,plus the fame and independence,which just adds to the charm. She is consuming her life and social relations to talk to him. She literally doesn’t do anything else,I had hoped we’d remain friends as she promised,because she means too much to me for me to say goodbye to her,but she doesn’t talk to me anymore,probably because she feels guilty about what happened in some measure,or because she literally cannot make space in her head for anything else anymore. The guy is obviously havin the time of his life because,a girl with that face,who just comes at you offering you her hand,is literally a dream come true,it would be for anybody. I don’t think he really knows about this or about me,but I’m pretty sure they’re currently dating.
I really wish the best for her.
Right now I am completely broken,mostly because of the absurdity of the situation. The dude is even in the same social sphere as many of the streamers I follow,so I’m forced to hear about him or see him every once in a while,it’s like salt on an open wound. I’m tormented and living in hell right now,and I hope I recover from this soon.
It sounds horrible to ask this,but is it worth it to keep her as a friend? I really,really don’t want to let her go,after what we went through together she feels more than just some girl I’ve dated,also I never really had to say goodbye to anybody in my life,this would be my first time parting ways with someone,especially someone so close to me,but since she seems to be extremely volatile and uninterested in me now,I wonder if she even wants to keep seeing me at all at this point. What would others do in this situation I’m legitimately so lost and broken I need help