Context: I (26F) met someone (36F) online and we decided to start a friends with benefits type relationship; not seriously dating, but for me I wanted to get some experience with sex (I’ve never had sex before) and for her she wanted to try out new exciting things with sex. So this was compatible; we met in person about a month ago and have been in touch since. She’s never been a great texter (normally it takes her a day or two to respond to my messages).
We had sex Thursday night. It was really good for me, like better than I ever could have imagined sex would be. A really great first experience. I think it was good for her too (or at least she was acting like it was). I texted her Friday morning to say I had a great time and to thank her. She responded to me Saturday morning in a positive way. I texted her back an hour later to reiterate that I’d had fun and to ask if she wants to do it again sometime, and to suggest dates over the next three weeks that would work for me. It’s been more than 48 hours and she hasn’t responded yet.
I know in general she isn’t great at responding quickly to texts, but it’s making me feel super anxious and insecure and like maybe she wasn’t having as good a time as I thought she was or maybe I’m bad at sex or maybe I did something wrong, etc. I really don’t like being left on read. But I also know that the primary thing she wants right now is freedom and low pressure, and if I text her to tell her I’d like some reassurance or for her to respond to my texts more promptly, she probably isn’t going to want to see me again, and I REALLY want to see her again; I’ve had a lot of trouble and anxiety with sex historically and I don’t think I’m going to find something as good as this.
At the same time, I know that being ignored after what was for me a very emotional experience is literally one of the most stressful things possible for me; I’ve been in relationships like this before where I felt like I was chasing the other person or like they were very inconsistent in responding to me or showing interest, and those relationships made me so anxious that they interfered with me doing other things like school or work. What should I do?