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33 comments
I think I am done trying to find someone.. it is just so disheartening and I keep thinking it should not be so fucking hard. But it is.. at least for me. I am ok with being just me most of the time so fuck it! I give up.
Good luck to the rest of you though..
Pretty sure playing hard to get isn’t a thing anymore and she’s just lost whatever small interest she had. First day texts were good, second day I only got one reply, and no reply to my reply. Today I was testing saying nothing. It’s not going well. Stupid games, stupid prizes, maybe.
Woman I’ve been seeing just got back from a trip with her mom for about a week. We text a bit while she was gone she sent me some pics from the beach. I didn’t want to bother her on her vacation so I kept the texting to a minimum. Her last day of vacation she text she was sad to leave the beach but looked forward to getting a kiss from me once she got back. I’m seeing her tonight and am so excited to see her!
There’s a queer Meetup near me tomorrow.
I’d like to go but I’m nervous about the fact that I don’t know anyone there, or what to expect. It’s basically chilled drinks with a group of about 45 people, and that seems overwhelming. I’m also wanting to go in the hopes of meeting someone but given that I don’t have any luck on the apps, that seems incredibly unlikely
Convince me to go, I need the push. Or don’t, and I’ll stay home and watch Better Call Saul.
Rough week. Friend died unexpectedly, another friend got moved into hospice care for cancer that same night. Hoping I actually get to see the guy I’ve been dating this weekend because I could use a hug, but I’ve got memorial services to go to now and I’m not sure if we can make the timing work, so… ugh.
The man was here yesterday and spent the night. It was our first meet since we started having sex two months ago where we didn’t do anything sexual. We made out and were very cuddly but nothing above PG13. I’m on a heavy day on my period and a little stressed, so not really thinking about it, and still a tad distracted. It was really nice though. I slept well. I think I’ve reached a point where I sleep just as well with him as I do without him. He said in the morning he didn’t sleep well, but that it was worth it for spending the night with me. He also called me on the drive to mine and we chatted the whole time, which was really nice. He let me vent about my day and was being an extremely good listener.
We made dinner together, walked the dog, went to my climbing gym for a sec to say hello, he met some friends of mine, I haven’t had time to interrogate yet them on what they think.
I’m travelling to the exhibition and my talk tomorrow morning. I would have loved it if he could come with me. I’m seeing him next on Sunday on my way back.
My ex that I’m good friends with is going to be in the same city my exhibition is in since one of his best friends is releasing a book and has an exhibition opening there as well on the same day, he was supposed to stay with his friend first, then with an ex of his that he’s still kind of friendly with and she was supposed to show him around, since they broke up when she moved to that city – but instead she’s being a bit of a dick and ditched him for other plans with other friends so he’s going back early. It’ll be nice for both of us to have time off and to explore a bit together. I’d like to do a coffee walk and it’ll be even nicer to have him see my exhibition and help with the curation part and deciding how to hang things. He’s a professional artist and has fantastic taste, and has been a massive influence on me in terms of pursuing art seriously and evolving my own style and discipline around art.
When I told the man about this and that I’m now on hangout duty with my ex he didn’t bat an eyelash. In fact, he was saying it was nice that we get to see each other since he knows we’re good friends and I update him on our random chats and stuff. I love that he’s so secure and trusting and that there’s no drama in this. It’s such a stark difference to the last person I dated. I’m not comparing, I’m just appreciative and very much thankful and happy with his nature and personality. He’s so great.
May the exhibition go well, my talk goes well, and I sell all the art so I don’t have to take anything back home!
I’ve decided even if things don’t work out with the current guy, I’m not going to get back to online dating for a long long time. I’m content with this decision. Two weeks was enough. The experience wasn’t bad, but it was exhausting and I feel like I don’t have enough time for it, even after paying for filters. I can’t imagine how it is like to be on OLD for years and years.
I also feel like I got what I wanted out of it, which was experience dating, and kinda getting a feel for where I stand and what makes me attractive to guys, and even finding guys I was attracted to, which is pretty rare for me. All around, pretty productive. It surprisingly helped my self-esteem.
In other news, the current guy has made offhand references of mentioning me to his friends, which made me feel flattered. I haven’t brought up exclusivity or the “do you see this going anywhere serious” conversation because he’s out of town this week.
How would you feel/react if…
Your significant other just rented a room in their residence to someone of the opposite gender. Consider the fact that there will also be shared spaces, such as the kitchen.
Would this bother you at all? Imagine you’ve been exclusively dating for under a year, but are both serious about the relationship.
Asking for myself. Because I’m very bothered and want to know the general consensus. I feel like I’ll always wonder what their interactions are like and how close they’re getting.
Am I too picky to not date a bad driver?
I’m living in a city where traffic is terrible, and auto insurance companies have given up and withdrawn their services in the past few years. As someone who’s suffering from the notorious driving environment every day, I really hate bad drivers when I am behind the wheel. Do you think I am too picky to weed people out just because they are bad drivers?
My definitions of “bad” drivers:
1. Not use signals when they change lanes or turn
2. Tailgate
3. Too close to other cars’ rear end when they stop (occasionally it’s fine)
4. Intentionally not let other drivers change or merge lanes
5. Not let pedestrians walk first
6. Pass by road shoulders
7. Always turn on beam lights and never change behaviors although they know this will interfere otehr drivers’ safety
As long as any of them happens, I consider them bad drivers. Not to mention dui and zigzag driving.
This guy on hinge sent me a like. Every picture except for one where he’s using a mouse filter, is with his kid. I’m hoping is his kid at least. Why do men do this? Don’t post pictures of your kid on a dating site ? I’m a mom and I have there that I am, but never would I post pictures with my kid or anyone else’s kids. The right thing is to x him, right?
how did this happen? 4 first dates in 4 days. nothing… promising? mediocre, kinda crazy, too aggressive, not aggressive.
so we will see how this plays out
So I’m (34m) considering changing my dating intentions from LTR to “life partner” to see if it changes up my luck. Don’t really have a problem getting matches, just moreso the type of people.
So a question for the men and women of DOT (I live in the southern US if that helps) :
1. For women – how do you perceive someone who has “life partner” on their profile? Any common trends in terms of the type of guys who tend to have this? Theres a certain… stereotype on the other side (typically more conservative, heavy on the church, etc)
2. For men – if you do have it or had it/took it off, has it changed the type of matches you are getting?
Third date last night. He picked me up and brought flowers and was so bloody lovely and complimentary. I’m not used to this level of attentiveness and having someone show their interest so openly. I usually tend to gravitate towards emotionally unavailable men.
If I’m being completely honest though, I don’t think we’re right for each other. But if I tell my friends this, I know they’ll all say ‘are you just saying this because he’s too available?!’
I need advise on
**HOW NOT TO LOOK LIKE A MEERKAT** (not a sexy look, right?)
**THE QUESTION:**
Do you think the guy I have a crush on notices that I check whether he is in the room or not?
It’s automatic. I can’t seem to control it. I want to stop. Desperately want to stop.
**EXTRA DETAILS:**
So there is this guy at the gym. I have a huge crush on him. I will not do anything about it, he is clearly not interested. And I think I’m waay older (38F) even though I don’t look like it. I have obviously talked to him already; asking if he was occupying a machine or something. (I do that with half of the people in the gym. I also talk to everyone who comes near me. I ask them if they need to occupy the machine I’m using or the machine I’m standing next to or whatever. LOL)
He has his earplugs glued to his ears and stares at his phone 99.99% of the time. Clearly does not care nor he wants to be bothered and probably has a girlfriend.
Anyway. My gym has two floors. I swear I’m focused on my workout. I don’t bring my phone. I do not use headphones and I have a stopwatch to rest for 1min sharp. I AM FOCUSED, OKEY. Plus, I try to avoid being where he is. But, seriously, I can’t help checking if he’s there! I guess it’s like when men try not to look at our boobs. I don’t have any boobs -seriously- and I wear actual clothes to go to the gym (modesty above all) but just so that you can relate to what I feel like. Sort of.
PS: I am aware that I’m childish and immature. Thank you
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it bothers me when i dont know how much people make and/or what their job is. is that okay?
i have been dating a long time. i have never made it past the date zero with certain professions, degrees, etc. but also remember i want a partner and dont have one 🙂
Today is my first day of my long awaited holiday & it’s also the first time I’m overseas from Mr Exclusive, as he had always been the one to travel since we started dating.
We had a short call the night before my departure. It slipped his mind, but he offered to chat while he walked home & while I walked to the gym, as he wanted an early night. He listened to me chirpping away whereas he’s usually the one babbling.
We call our voice chats ‘Babbles’ because one of us will usually rattle on, while the other listens 🙂
I said I’ll keep him updated of the fun shenanigans, as I love sharing the funny moments with him too.
I still feel anxious about him forgetting dates or calls, because of the ex before him would often cancel on me at the last minute. But so far Mr Exclusive has lived up to it, which is helping to rebuild the trust & I appreciate him texting more after our last date, sending otter & doggo videos etc.
As he said he’ll do better when I asked why he would text me spontaneously, but not reply when I text him lol.
Gonna embrace this holiday the best I can, and will ask for another phone call next week!
I was this close 🤏🏼 to reaching out to you today. fml.
Have a second date tonight. Second dates always give me anxiety, first dates there’s way less pressure (at least for me). Our first date went well, but it’s been almost exactly 2 weeks since. I feel like I’ve forgotten so much about her lol.
Also get the feeling she may not be 100% into me, but she agreed to the date and confirmed yesterday, sooooooo fingers crossed!
Well I secured a babysitter so that I could go to festival 🤩 just hope they don’t suddenly have a change of heart lol teenagers am I right? I mostly trust my neph though.
The day is coming so fast! The man I’m dating works for a company that supplies all the beer for the event so we get free drinks (and possibly free food!)
Gents, take your girl to a festival trust meee
I’m having a hard time not reaching out to my ex fiance who had an emotional affair. I know, I know. But I miss him and he felt awful and I cannot stop ruminating about what if’s, if we went to counseling and tried. I’m trying to date other people but I just miss my best friend.
Do you guys feel like it’s hard to find people who are willing to work on themselves in relationships? I thought since I was getting older that we were all getting a little more mature and better at this, but oof.
broken up after 1.5 years. He needs to work on himself because he can’t give me what I want/need. Feel so down and don’t know how to bounce back. Trying to think that it’s for the best but feel like I’m losing my mind.
I matched with a woman and we hit it off decently in only a few messages enough to agree on going out for drinks (no specifics) and to move to text- when I text her she responded but not to my follow up after that, that was Monday morning.
I’ve never had someone express intent like this just to go away. Usually when i exchange numbers we will for sure at least meet up. Maybe I’m answering my question here but will I look like a dumbass sending one follow up to the point just asking “hey does this day next week work for drinks”, or is this one dead?
Think I’m in the process of getting faded/ghosted after a 1 month long thing where the guy really pursued me and we really hit it off. I’m so confused and heartbroken once again. When will it be my turn?
last two guys i “dated” ended in a disaster. both not wanting a relationship but enjoying my company. I got tired of it real quick and cut it yet still wish they wanted me more than that. want to reach out but i already know if they wanted to be in a relationship, they would have worked on it, right?
i was also too eager and anxious which isnt attractive for anyone. i need to learn to be slow, self regulate, and understand some people lie about their intentions to get what they want or just cant meet me where im at. i dont want to experiment, i want to get to know someone and progress to a relationship if it clicks for us. Why is that so hard to find? everyone is emotionally unavailable these days.
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Who just wants to be single until the end?
I (M34) am having a hard time knowing how to approach possibly dating again.
I got married very young (21), which ended a few years ago. Therapist that I have been seeing the last couple of years recently asked me how I felt about possibly dating again. I said I really would like to, but and here is my concern, I am unsure how casual dating is at my age.
A large majority of people at my age, I assume are looking to settle down and possibly have a family. I understand that boundary and appreciate making intentions clear. But, personally I rushed into my previous marriage and have no desire to rush into anything this time. I also at this time do not want children and do not see that changing. I started a hinge profile and do have it marked that I don’t want children and I am only looking for short-term. Is it even worth being on a dating app at my age with those personal preferences? Dating preference is set to women ages 28-35 currently. I just already feel defeated cause I feel like it is a useless endeavor. As much as I want to go on cute dates I just think that is not what potential matches would want, and I probably will not get any matches lol. I hate it. Any advice or insight would be appreciated. Thanks!
Idk if I made the right decision…this guy and I have been seeing each other for a little over two weeks and I shut it down today. He was moving a bit fast for my liking but was respectful when I asked to take our time. We’ve hungout multiple times a week the last couple weeks which I typically wouldn’t do. He was doing a lot of the right things and I enjoyed our time together and how he treated me for the most part. I ended things for 2 reasons… 1, because last Saturday he invited me to meet his friends for a bday shindig (lots of drinking involved), I drove/stayed sober. A minute after I left he called me asking for a ride home so I turned around and grabbed him, then a few minutes into the ride he asked me to drop him off there (random neighborhood, not his house) and then said he would call an Uber. I told him that was really weird and a waste of my time, and he called me on my way home and apologized, mentioning that he felt bad asking me to take him home? The next day he said he was drunk and it’s not an excuse, apologizing. I gave it a chance because I was into him, but was staying vigilant for future yellow flags.
Last night he’s on his first mid-week work trip and had a bunch of downtime. We had a really nice phone call. He got drunk at his hotel and we were texting, he was being a bit strange and off putting, saying he’s going to be my boyfriend, he’s sure of it, and blah blah blah. I went to bed and said we’ll talk about that another time. I woke up to a text saying “I love you” and “I wanna be your boyfriend” etc. I found it super inappropriate and disregarding the fact I want to go slow, and shows he says things he doesn’t mean when he’s drunk and isn’t really a responsible adult.
I admit I have a low tolerance for alcohol-related weird behavior because of my past, but sometimes it’s hard to tell if I’m too quick to draw a line in the sand.
I did and do like him for the most part but I feel this situation indicated a pattern of behavior rather than a one-off thing. I really need my future partner to have a healthy relationship with alcohol and substances in general. Was this a smart decision or too hasty?
I’m wondering how to go about this without making things weird. I’m divorced and have been for years now. I am just a reading teacher at an elementary school. How inappropriate would it be to ask out a student’s mother? I only have this student a few times a week, and they’re a great kid. I recently had the pleasure of meeting their mother. She’s funny, beautiful, completely unique, and full of personality. The women where I’m from are a basic and, quite frankly, boring. Dating has been a nightmare, but this woman is so easy to talk to, and I feel very drawn to her. I believe she is no longer with the father based on a few conversations with the student and mother. I haven’t met a woman I’ve been so quickly connected to, and I’d really like to see how this could go. I’m clueless! What would be the best way to go about this?
Second date tonight with the person I saw two weeks ago went *really* well. She remembered so many details about me from our first date. She was also really really attractive. Had a great dinner, and made out for a bit after in front of her car. She also apologized for being a bad texter and forgetting to message me back on Bumble which was nice of her.
The most surprising part was… she paid for dinner. I grabbed the check and put my card down. She said lets split it, I said no I got it. Finally after some back and forth I said fine lets split it. She took the check and my card, replaced my card with hers and handed the check to the waitress! I’ve had a date pay for drinks before but not dinner! And it was an expensive dinner too! I feel kinda bad, she works in education and I work in tech and I definitely make a lot more than her. I joked that I’d pay for the next date and that she’d pick The French Laundry or something. Hopefully this is a good sign (seems like it is) and not her just trying to absolve her guilt before breaking things off with me!
On my way to dinner tonight I got a text from my date on Friday. She asked how my week was, I said it was good, and that I was about to go out to dinner and I’d get back to her. I figured she was going to cancel but I guess not! I shot her a text in the uber home but now I’m feeling really self conscious about it, as per usual. Oh well, we’ll see!
My date for Tuesday unmatched me lol. I don’t really mind, I was on the fence about her anyway. But that’s two unmatches in one week baby!!!!!
I’m currently talking/seeing/dating? this guy, and he’s reaaaaaally into me. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy be this genuinely interested in being with me. It’s such an odd feeling, and I don’t know how I feel about it. Am I cynical because I haven’t experienced this before? Is it sketchy? Is he just nice and a decent man? Is he trying to move too fast too soon? WHO KNOWS.