I honestly feel lol I’m going crazy and need outside POV. My husband “Dave” and I have been together total 9 years (2 married).
When we first started dating, I was aware that he had a fling with a girl “Jenny” (but they never formally dated – which is important). Him and this girl would sleep together on and off for a couple years.
At his high school grad, Dave invited another girl as his date. Not Jenny. Apparently Jenny made a huge scene about how they “should be together and he HAS to take her to grad”.
Funny enough, I worked with Jenny for a summer, about two years before Dave and I started dating. And all she did was talk about Dave. She obviously liked him over at least 3 years of her life.
Anyway, when Dave and I officially started dating. We were at a bar and Jenny tried convincing both of us to break up so she could date Dave. When this didn’t work, she threw a drink at Dave.
That was almost a decade ago.
Last summer, we went to a party where Dave knew ahead of time Jenny would be there. Leading up to the party, he would occasionally bring up Jenny and “how nervous he was to see her”. Which I thought understandable but I mean, it’s been almost 10 years now.
At the party, I literally watched as my husband tracked Jenny everywhere she went. Suddenly Dave came up to me and was like “I’m going to talk to her” and I said “want me to come with”. He said “no”.
So he went up to her and spoke for like 15 mins. I ended up leaving the party I was upset at this whole situation.
A few months later, I brought up my anxiety over this and why he needed to talk to her. Talk to her alone. And why he seemed borderline obsessed with her at the party/just before the party.
He kept saying “I don’t like people angry at me.” And “it’s important that people like me”. I countered with “but why do you care what she thinks?” And “you telling me not to come up with you almost seems like your prioritizing her over me” and “I would preferred we look like a united front” and “who cares about her. It’s been 10 years”
Flash forward a few months, it came up in convo again this past week. And his story almost changed. He HAD to talk to her so that she “wouldn’t cause a scene” rather than “it’s important he’s liked”. Which doesn’t make sense, if she wanted to cause a scene she would regardless. And chatting with her alone was almost provoking.
Help.
Edit. I didn’t storm out the party. My apologies. Bad choice of words. I went and stood outside the venue and chatted with other people there to give myself a moment