I have severe ADHD and my husband has anxiety. All of of friends and family members know this about us. However, we are both intelligent and accomplished. I was 3 years ahead at school. I’m more intellectual whereas my husband is more practical. He can make or fix literally anything. We’ve never needed to hire any sort of contractor because he can do everything himself. We both work in a field that, in my country, legally requires a university degree and a post grad qualification. We are very good at our jobs and are in senior positions. We’ve also made a lot of good property investments and like fixing up and selling houses as a hobby and are currently building a house, doing the work ourselves. We don’t have or need a mortgage for the build. For some reason, when we are in social situations, if the subject of our houses comes up, everyone gives us this sympathetic look, like we are children playing at an adults game, then proceeds to give us unsolicited advice. Usually they won’t listen to us on what our situation or plan is to know what advice we might need. They just start giving it. I.e. what bank to get a mortgage through, what building company to use etc. When we try to explain we don’t need any of that or that we are very experienced at doing this, we get this look that reads “oh you poor idiot, you have no idea what you’re talking about” and the advice continues. EVERYONE does this to us. We also get the impression people talk behind our backs so they can stage mini interventions with us in social settings. It’s like they think they need to save us from ourselves. There are others in our social group who also buy and sell property and it doesn’t happen to them. Some of the advice is TERRIBLE. One friend even tried convincing me I need three credit cards. Another tried convincing me that it’s better to have a mortgage than not. It’s like these people have no idea how interest works. I’ve tried explaining many times that although my ADHD causes me to come across as childlike (I’m very fidgety, talk too much, and have manic episodes where I literally look insane), that it’s not a representation of my intelligence or maturity. Same with my husband’s anxiety. It causes him to be quiet and not be able to explain himself well, but he’s not stupid. It all falls on deaf ears though.