I’m a 48 year old black man and Its extremely hard for me to make friends I tried over and over only to hear I’m not black enough I’m to educated or my face is the problem..I’m laughed at all the time nobody wants to be around me and I have ask associates and family why the treat me as such they all say the same thing their friends won’t understand being around someone like me and even though I don’t get no clearer answer it hurts me ..I thought about plastic surgery ..I’m not ugly but I wanted to look like the male people are looking for but never went through with it..I wrote books and got a lot of good things in my life but I suffer because of the way I’m constantly treated my mom pittied me until she passed she couldn’t understand either why people treat me so different..i tried of crying tired of crawling uo in a ball and sleeping and hiding from the world i tried to commit suicide several times and now back to the sane end theres no end to this life i done everything therapist suggested and just made matters worse no matter who i try to strike a conversation with im just judged harshly and put foen and mocked i feel there is nothing else for me but to leave this earth ..thats the only way to have peace