Hello Reddit, I have been with my partner for 6 years, I am thinking of getting married to them. But, one thing I recently found out that had me bothered, was that they have a very close opposite sex friend that they text very often(~10k texts a month). Mostly harmless things to my knowledge. But after accidentally catching them say something to the effect of “Good morning, have an amazing day” to this friend, it made me feel very uneasy. When I caught my partner, they were right next to me, and didn’t try to hide it. This makes be believe they are just really good friends. That being said, it still makes me very uneasy as I only text “Good morning” and “good night” to my partner, and no one else. Now, my partner and their friend have known each other for 3 years and had met through the gym. I haven’t brought it up to my partner because I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama. No, my partner and are not in a rough patch, we have sex all the time, my partner gives me full access to their phone. Reddit, what should I do? Should I bring it up or keep it to myself?
TL;DR my spouse and their friend who text a lot, say “good morning” and “good night” to each other all the time. I don’t know what to do.
9 comments
If it bothers you, you can bring it up. I wouldn’t start with any accusations though. Just that it makes you uncomfortable that they do that. It could be nothing, but I know if my fiance did that eith one of his female friends, I’d at least be weirded out.
You should bring it up if you want him to think you’re crazy.
Seriously??? He says good morning and good night to someone, and THAT’S the battle you want to fight???
Hello,
The best thing to do would be to bring it up. If it makes you uncomfortable just tell her. I personally wouldn’t mind if my partner had a close friend.
Also, you’re saying ~10k texts a month. That doesn’t sound right, you would need to constantly send text messages for that much a month.
Maybe it’s just me or you’re overthinking it. I’d personally just let them know it makes you feel uneasy and leave it at that. Although they could find it childish you’re upset about goodnight and good morning messages.
The fact that they text so much and that he didn’t even try to hide it leads me to believe it’s completely innocent but if it bothers you then you should absolutely bring it up to your partner
There doing 300 texts/day on average? How is that possible?
There’s no way they’re sending each other 10k texts a month.
You’ve been with them for 6 years; have routine sex; and you have full phone access. This is ridiculous. You need to work through your insecurity. Honestly, you should tell your partner how this made you feel and then look into getting some kind of therapy. Because if something as benign as this makes you feel uneasy, this insecurity could end up causing some serious issues in your relationship.
You should talk about boundaries with your partner. That’s totally valid that it makes you uncomfortable. You can say you’re fine with his friendship but something like that feels really intimate and is more of what a boyfriend would do and you’d feel better if he treated his female friends more platonically.
It sounds like he’s in love with her. I’m sorry.
I talk to my opposite sex best friend damn near everyday and usually more than I talk to my husband. And I would choose him over a relationship any day but there is not even a trace of romantic feelings between us. Your so isn’t hiding anything from you there’s nothing you need to be worrying about. If it was a friend of the same sex would you be freaking out? If the answer is no, don’t even bring it up. That’s a you problem not a them problem.