I recently caught my (32f) partner (29m) trying to cheat on me. I think. We share a Google account for things like YouTube premium etc. and I stumbled on his search history, searches looking for local dogging spots and glory holes, local dominatrix’s etc. as well as visits to various dating sites. I’ve always known he is into kink and bisexual and these are not issues. The issue is the going behind my back to search out these things when we agreed monogamy. We have a 4 month old baby and have just moved into a new house (rented), to start our dream life or so I thought. I feel so angry and betrayed. He says he would never have actually done anything and was, ‘just looking’ as he felt disconnected from me since the baby was born and was feeling low. But I feel like maybe I just caught him before he did anything. I honestly don’t know how far he’d go. He blames lack of sex and says he felt like he wasn’t feeling heard. I have acknowledged his points but c’mon I’ve just had a frickin baby and been planning a move! It’s not like we were never having sex, once a week minimum which I thought was good for new parents.
Anyway, he blames his adhd for impulse control and speaks of it like an addiction. Maybe he is a sex addict I don’t know. He has cheated on his ex’s in the past and is very good at lying. He begged me not to end it and says he will get therapy and medication. I have no idea what to do. I don’t want to break up our family and everything we have built together, but I also have too much self respect to stick around and be treated like this.
FYI this is not the first time he has done it. I caught him on Grindr about a year ago and forgave him as he said he was struggling with his sexuality and how to tell me. But now this has happened again and I feel like a mug for trusting him. I don’t want to be a single mum. But I also don’t think I can ever trust him again. Any ideas Reddit?