Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now.
For some background information, he is amazing. Everything you could ever ask for in a partner. He buys me flowers, he’s funny, smart. When we first met, and for the year following that, I was super attracted to him, and never even wanted to leave his side. But for the past three or four months, I’ve found myself becoming more and more uninterested and just annoyed with him. The things he says makes me cringe, what he does makes me cringe, I literally want to avoid being around him. Sometimes he will try to hold my hand and it just gives me the ‘ick’. I’m not sure if there’s something wrong with me but it definitely is not ideal.
The other day, at his house, the way he was talking with his family and in front of me just made me cringe and want to tell him to shut up. Today, at a dinner we went to, I was looking at him as he talked with someone and just felt so disgusted. I know I sound like a terrible person, he seriously hasn’t done anything wrong. We barely argue, haven’t had any big fights, anything like that. But I just cannot get over this. It has definitely been worse the past week, I think it is steadily increasing in extremity.
Additionally, almost all the time lately, I would 100% rather be alone than with him. I would rather relax in my bed and chill out than be around him. It just feels so boring and like I’d rather be doing a million other things.
I know the solution most would give is to breakup, but I’m genuinely scared I would break my heart into pieces once the annoyance wore off, if it ever would.
I would much rather be alone than with him, and I am definitely not physcially attracted to him anymore. I do have PMDD, and my period is coming soon, and a diagnoses of BPD. I’m unsure if that could be attributing to these feelings, but I literally have no idea what to do.
I cant just tell him about this, ‘hey I cant stand you anymore’, and I am scared to leave him.
My question is, if you guys have ever felt this, how did you deal with it? Is my only option to leave him? Is there hope? Thank you.
**TL;DR;** been with bf of two years, suddenly I don’t want to be around him and am not attracted to him anymore. Any hope?