Me (26F) and my boyfriend (33M) are together for over 7 years now. Started dating in uni and about 3 years ago we moved to his home country. We live in the same city as most of his friends and family, we moved here because of a great job opportunity he got. I spent the last 3 years working on and off for a company in my home country remotely, going on vacations with him, taking some language classes and being a stay at home girlfriend. His job pays extremely well, so finances are no issue. Unfortunately, there’s other problems.
I have been bringing up engagement, wedding and kids talks for years now. A few years back when we still lived in my home country and studied we went through some rough patches due to my anxiety. It’s much better now, but I feel like it’s not good enough for him. The topic is such a sore spot for us, it always ends in a fight and tears. About a year ago I got him to sit down and tell me what he wants from me, in order to finally take this to the next level. This is what he said:
* I need to get a job in the country we’re living in
* I need to learn his language to a sufficient level (\~A2 now)
* I need to make friends
* I need to get more confident driving a car
According to him, these things are all essential if he was to consider proposing because he doesn’t want me to depend on him for everything. I understand that all these things would benefit me greatly and so on, but I also feel bad. My brain is logical, yet my heart feels like I’m not enough for him? I have this fear that I accomplish these things and then he just comes up with a new list of requirements? Logically, even if that happened I’d have a job and a new language skill which would make life easier, but I am afraid of putting in the work and being left hurt if he gives me new demands.
I don’t want to make it too long but I’d love to hear what you think about my situation. Is he being reasonable? Should I give it a shot, do what he wants me to do and see if that “earns” me a ring? Any and all advice is so welcome, thanks!