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She said tie me up and do anything you want… so i got all sexual and fucked her dad
How is it that the average redditor can’t appreciate jokes lol
Aye who ever just upvoted you a real one mah G 💪😂😎
She dated me
Shooting saline solution up her ass to lose weight…and trying to explain to me why it wasn’t unhealthy… very odd lady
1 time as a birthday prank she woke me up with a bucket of snow in my face.. my birthday is in May. She bought snow at the indoor ski-hall in my country
My ex would just spend an entire weekend crying and screaming at me, and then go back to being fine.
Eventually learned that she had undiagnosed BPD. Thankfully got out of there and into therapy.
Just the other day, she said she wants to live in my skin. She said I have a lot of skin and she bets she can fit under it. What the fuck
I wish I was making this up….
Dated a girl for 6 years, long distance, in our late teens to early 20’s. One day she came out of the bathroom and had accidentally gotten some poop on her finger while wiping.
It happens.
What doesn’t happen is her proceeding to chase me around her apartment cheerfully chanting “Smell it, I got stinky on my finger!”. We broke up not long after that.
She wanted me to sleep with her ex’s sister.
Had an ex where the relationship ended completely amicably. No red flags or anything. But she then told her friends and classmates I abused her. Found out later after some things came to a head that she craved the attention it got her. Dodged that bullet!
On our second date at a seated area outside of a busy bar, announced loudly ‘I’m going for a poo’. Disappeared for near enough an hour, apparently fell asleep on the throne. The guys on the next table had a good laugh at my expense.
Long after our relationship ended, an ex-girlfriend of mine started an OnlyFans where she would crossdress as a man only to reveal that she’s actually a woman, I think it’s called “reverse trap” and since she was an asian tomboy it was fairly believable. I think she got off on sort of tricking gay guys and straight women, and I understand it’s a niche genre, but still really weird to me.
Liked me… I’m still shocked
My first girlfriend always talked about how mean her dad was and how much he wouldn’t take to me. She painted him as the stereotypical “southern guy with a gun in control of his daughters virtue”. The one time I spoke to him he seemed unfriendly but not overtly threatening.
I broke up with her after 7 weeks. Being with her felt like hard work, and she wasn’t as great as she thought she was.
My ex said to me do that don’t leave me if I turned out to be a lesbian.
One of my exes had a weird reaction to wet hair on his skin. He hated it, yet he had long hair. So every day after his shower, you’d hear him cringe audibly and yelp in disgust as he tied his hair in a towel.
My ex would cuddle with me put her legs on my stomach and then proceed to bring her leg down on purpose nail me in the nuts so I’d be in pain holding my nuts and she’d just laugh at me
During relationship:
– threw an entire basket of oranges at my head. Eventually she picked the knife up and wanted to throw that one too
– simply left the room when we were discussing issues in our relationship
– cried in public when I was not agreeing with her
After breakup:
– told our mutual friends I was a violent person and her bruises were my doing
– smashed the tires of my car
– caught her outside my house at 3 AM
– accidentally bumping into my mother in town, striking a conversation and telling how much she missed me
Stole a customer’s personal info from a payment form in the lab we worked at and used it to stalk her
Eat chicken noodles with mayo. (not the weirdest but it’s up there)
When I was 17 I dated a girl, we finished fucking in my room
She then, cum filled tried to walk out of my room and through the living room to use the toilet completely naked
She’d have to walk past my blind father, my step mother, and my younger brother
She didn’t understand why that was a problem
Back in college, an ex called me out of the blue a year after I’d broken up with her. A mutual acquaintance was apparently harassing her from across the country (which took doing, because this was back before social media) and she wanted to know if I knew anything to help her out.
For context, when I broke up with her she threatened my family’s house with arson and their cat with murder, so I was a *little* surprised she was coming to me for help. I told her (honestly) that I knew nothing and wished her luck.
My ex asked me if I was interest in a threesome with a girl she had been once once I arrived in Brazil (we went there on holidays because she is originally from there). I said no but if I knew what I know today I would totally fuck them both. I think everyone would be happier. I said no at the time because I loved my ex and I can’t be sexually intimate with a random stranger.
She asked me to help her steal her car back from her crack head ex
Move without telling me and completely vanishing after dating for almost 6 months. We never fought, got along great, and were talking about moving in together the day before she left.
Admitted she was wrong… only once mind!
(F here) Dated a guy all through high school but broke up before college because I was going to the east coast and he was staying in Texas. He spent the summer writing me letters and calling me trying to convince me we needed to stay together. We kinda got back together, drifted apart, reconnected a few years later after I’d gotten married and had a kid and was settled into adulting. We began talking again and hanging out. Then he sent me a snapchat message saying he was tired of lying about me to his baby mama (idk why he was trying to lie) and never wanted to speak to me again and blocked me everywhere. I’m still confused and that was almost a year ago.
Bit my finger
we weren’t even dating when she asked if she could move in with me, there was a lot of weird shit after that
Got my government name tatted full blast on her chest after I ended it with her cause I was trying to rock with another chick. Ngl it kinda had an effect tho years later we got back together n had another kid years after and she got it covered it wit a gigantic bird. Haven’t talked to her in years.
Back when my wife and I first started dating we living in a small Batchelor apartment. I was up late (maybe 2-3am) gaming in the living room and I head some heavy smacking through my head phones.
I pulled them off and listened but heard nothing but silence. Put them back on and continued my game. 5 minutes later I heard it again and again, took off my headset to hear nothing but silence.
This time i put my headset on but turned byself to maybe get a different direction on the sound and a few minutes later saw my then girlfriend slowly walk into the pitch black living room. She made her way to the couch and grabbed a cushion which I then realised was the only one left on the couch. She hugged it and slowly started back to the bedroom.
I took the headset off and called out her name as I followed her into the bedroom. As I stood in the doorway I started to hear the smacking sound again. Slow and methodical. I reach for the light switch and when it turned on my wife was gently patting the cushion onto a fort esk construction on the bed using every pillow and cushion in the house.
She then proceeded to crawl into and collapse.
At that point I realised that she had been sleep walking and gently woke her up. Alarmed to find herself there she got up and after a good laugh we decided to go get some tea from the kitchen.
As I lead her ther I turned on the kitchen light to find every mug we owned (20+) stacked in a pyramid on the kitchen counter.
For about a month I set a motion alarm in the bedroom and hid the knives every night as I was terrified she would sleep walk and stab me in her sleep but she never did it again.
TLDR: wife sleep walked, made a fort and a creepy mug pyramid.
Dated this girl who had something she had to tell me but was terrified I’d never talk to her again. She finally said she’s had a threesome before and likes another girl to join in sometimes. Weird that she thought I’d be anything other than excited to hear that!
I was in a halfway house when I met this chick on myspace back in the day. Kicked it, humped, drank and kept it like that. I hated the halfway house. I was about to violate and she said “come live with me if you run from the program I’ll give you a 1000$ now n take care of you.” So I did. Fast forward a decade n sum change later she an ex and we gotta 8 year old son who’s all I shoulve been at that age.
Baby mom(I never dated this girl she blackmailed me into having a kid with her, she was just a fling) created fake texts and Instagram DMs of multiple women claiming they love me and they’re gonna steal her(our) daughter and be the new moms.
First one I was super creeped out. It was my best friends girlfriend. She was my friend before I hooked them up together so I thought maybe she was in love with me because I was sleeping with all her friends. I showed my buddy. He left her.
Second one. I had slept with like 4-5 years prior and it made no sense as we only slept and hung out 2-3 times and nothing else. So I was kind of like wth makes no sense here.
3rd one was another one that made no sense..
Then I started seeing my now GF. Same thing happened. Except I caught it. The msgs were nothing like how she types. And I realized that on all the screenshots the names were blacked out. That’s because you can steal people’s photos but no 2 usernames on IG can be the same..
She then proceeded to send my GF a msg of now me sleeping with her and telling her how much better she is then my GF.. luckily my GF didn’t believe it because of what had just happened. But man idk how my girl even stuck through the BS.
She now has a new man so she left me tf alone
Went to Berlin and visited Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp. Our guide was talking about Kristallnacht or The Night of Broken Glass (Nov 1938) and how the German government was trying to stop ‘Kristallnacht’ from being used due to the alleged positive connotations. This is ridiculous but my girlfriend instantly switched on a dime, and chastised me for continuing use the term.
May not be weird to some but it is very indicative of being a woke SJW.
Well…. Depp’s ex took a shit on his bed. Nothing beats that level of craziness.
H….H…HOW?!?!🤯
She wanted to lick my ears man 😞
My friend his ex girlfriend went interstate. He went over to her place, expecting to see her. His gf’s sister was there. He called up the GF. The GF said “enjoy!” She is all yours for the weekend!
He slept with the sister. They may have broken up. They all remain good friends.
Married me