How do you determine the character of your gf’s/wife’s/partner’s friends?

9 comments

1. Takes time I just watch how they are as a friend to my spouse and how they interact with others. Good indicator is how they treat cashiers and waitresses/waiters.

2. My litmus test for psychopaths is the movie “iron giant.” If you don’t cry at superman, you are a psychopath.

3. You get to know them?

4. Are her friends single/divorced? Do they go out partying a lot? Do they gossip and drama always follows them?

   If any of the above are YES, then likely your wife is one of those, or soon will be. Women are easily influenced by their friends because they compete with each other. Shut that shit down or make very strong boundaries immediately, or she’ll leave/cheat on you.

5. If my wife is friends with them, they’re of good character. There’s not a friend of hers I don’t like, male or female. She is particular about who she lets in her life and the character of those in her life and what I’ve never seen in the many years together have earned her my deference to her discernment.

6. You can’t until you meet them, however, you can determine the character of your gf by the people she is hanging around with.

7. By observation?

8. you have to listen to how they construct their stories. Do they constantly make sure they’re the victim? Is there a certain group that they obituually target, like the working class or men or other minority groups?
   do they have resiliency, as in do they say positive shit from time to time even if the news that they’re sharing is sad? Can they hold a conversation or does it generally gravitate back to themselves?

   and before all of that, ask yourself what is motivating you to learn about your partner‘s friends. is there a reason that you’ve become interested in who they are? Is this a new relationship or have you been in a relationship for some time?

   With some people, the company they keep is not a reflection of who they are. Sometimes people will just collect company simply because they are around and they don’t have the skill set to decipher what is considered appropriate company what is considered inappropriate company.

   you kind of have to know what you’re trying to search before you go seek it out, otherwise you’re just snooping around

9. Listen and observe.

   How they talk and behave.
   How they talk and treat other people.
   What subjects do they discuss.
   Do they sit and shit talk everything and everyone around.

   Basically people will show you their true colors. You just have to shut up and observe.