We have been dating/living together for 5 months so far, all was perfect, she lost her job (30k/year) and in response I got her a job she’d love (85-90k/year) that being said this job is in an extremely male dominated work space. To ease my mind about her spending 14 hours a day with only men who I don’t know I asked her if she’d be hanging out with these co-workers outside of work to which she promised me “no I promise I’m going to work to work not make friends”. Fast forward 2 months she asked me if she could go to a bar with these male co-workers (mind you this industry does not attract “good” men in the slightest) to which I responded with questions like “who are they” “why all of a sudden do you want male friends” to which I get “I can’t do anything” “I feel controlled” “I’m going to do whatever I want” .
Mind you I never said no to this I simply voiced some concerns about males around the love of my life with alcohol involved = not good things and I haven’t caught a break since. Every time I voice any concern about this topic I am told I’m controlling and they’re not going to do anything And why don’t I trust her and on and on and on and on forever, my logic is if 50% of seemingly happy marriges fail imagine what a bottle of tequila and 10 drunk cavemen could do to a mere 5 month relationship? At the beginning of our relationship we both agreed that having friends of the opposite sex was not acceptable nor was needed and it seems her opinion on that has changed recently without having a conversation with me about it and now I’m supposed to be okay with something we mutually agreed was not okay?
I trust her and I want her to be happy so regardless of my fears of statistically very likely scenarios I am no longer voicing concerns about the topic and things seem to have gotten better. Am I doing the right thing being worried about her safety and my own feelings when she’s out with men? Should I ask her not to hang out with them? Or should I just stop worrying all together and see what the outcome is? I’m not getting my heart broken and I don’t know why her opinion on opposite sex friendships has changed, I can’t ask why so what should I do in this case?
TL;DR**
We agreed having friends of the opposite sex was disrespectful/uncalled for but her opinion on this has changed for no apparent reason and she wants me to be okay with her hanging out with drunk cavemen