TLDR: My girlfriend convinced me to have sex with her after I told her I wanted to wait and now I am not sure I want to be with her because we aren’t really sexually compatible. (END)
When me and my girlfriend got together I told her I wanted to wait until I felt absolutely sure I wanted to be with her for every reason besides sex to have sex. This is because in the past I have seen how sex can blind people from other pressing issues in the relationship and I didn’t want to have to worry about that this time. I also believe sex is a very intimate thing that people don’t really value until it’s too late. In my case I used to view sex as “just sex” until I found someone who I loved and then all of my past experiences and the ones I was having were tainted. All of this to say my girlfriend does not share my view. She views it as just sex and something to do before the relationship to know if you want to be with that person or not.
She kept asking about it and would get very upset when I would tell her no. Every day we would have conversations that would turn sexual at random times and she would talk about all of the things she would let me do to her and it would always end with “do you still want to wait?” When this first started happening I would say yes and she would get very mad and claim that what I thought was stupid. It wasn’t very easy for me either. I wanted to have sex with her, I just didn’t want it to become the centerpiece of our relationship.
Eventually she started asking if it was an issue with her and I would always say no, but she wouldn’t believe me. Around two weeks in I finally decided that I didn’t want her thinking it was something wrong with her anymore and I was getting worried that she’d find sex somewhere else.
One day we decided to do it and… it wasn’t great. It started with me going down on her, and that was fine, but everything else was not. She had talked about all of the things she wanted done to her, but then she didn’t really want to do anything outside of vanilla sex. She told me that she doesn’t give head. While I was playing with her my finger circled her other hole and she said no, she doesn’t let anyone go near there ever. Scratching and biting were off the table and she didn’t like when marks were left on her. She basically only liked missionary (although I enjoy it, it’s my least favorite position), and I wasn’t really feeling anything.
It ended with her riding me and me lying about cumming because I just wanted it to be over, and then she freaked out because she thought I came in her. I told her I didn’t and she asked where it was then and I told her I don’t cum a lot and that most of it must have ended up on the blanket. After she calmed down we cuddled and that was nice, and I tried to forget about how I didn’t enjoy the sex. In weeks to follow I tried only going down on her because that was the only thing I enjoyed as well. I hate to be selfish but I honestly don’t look forward to the times we have sex because it’s just boring and I don’t feel anything emotionally or sexually. She’s very attractive, and I don’t know why I’m having this issue. I honestly don’t know where I should go from here.