I mean penetrative sex. In the beginning, he was largely unable to get an erection. Later, he got a Viagra prescription which led to what I would describe as a 70% erection, meaning he got erect, but was not hard enough to penetrate. We’ve done other things but no good old fashioned sex.
Beyond the penis problems, he seems unable to overcome the psychological stressors associated with ED in a young man, which leads to him being unwilling to prioritize exploring holistic solutions (therapy, seeing a urologist, communicating with me etc.) I do feel like we could be further along in our journey to figure this out if he would actively participate.
To make things scarier, we’ve talked about a long-term future together and establish that we both want kids, and in our conversation about ED the other night I brought up how impractical it is to plan for kids when he hasn’t had an orgasm in years, because we’d still need his sperm for IVF. He brought up adoption to which I told him I wasn’t open to and he responded “why?” Valid question but it *absolutely* freaked me out! As a 31 year old woman, what do you mean why don’t I want to have my own biological kids? If I can have them, I want them.
The short version is, I care for him deeply, but I am unable to live celibate any longer. He is so far not open to an open relationship where I (and he) can occasionally and privately scratch my sexual itch elsewhere. My mom says I should stop driving myself crazy and just do that anyway and keep it to myself or break up with him.
Any other options?