We are both pretty young, but ive always fantasized about the type of love i wanted in life and I knew what kind I didn’t want due to all the horrible relationships in my family so I thought I was straight. However my bf doesnt even like doing little romantic stuff for me and just says he doesnt see the point in it because I know he loves me and him telling me verbally should be more important than a morning paragraph. He has complained about having to walk me to my door because he didn’t wanna get his shoes dirty, I noticed he stopped writing me morning paragraphs after we had sex for the first time, he doesn’t give me little gifts or little cute things like I do for him always. He didn’t respond to me for a while on social media even though it said he was active last night and when he called he randomly told me I was pretty and asking me if i knew he loved me but i cant help but think something is up. It almost hurts because Im a hopeless romantic for him and im always either making him blankets, buying him food anytime im out cause i cant help but think of him, buy him clothing, make him little notes telling him how much i love him, making little paper hearts with notes, morning paragraphs, and it seems like im the only one sometimes who feels this way and he thinks just saying i love you is enough to satisfy me.
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How can I get my boyfriend to be more loving?
TL;DR- Bf wont show me any affection other than saying I love you and he thinks its enough to satisfy me even though I put in effort everyday to make him feel special.
7 comments
He won’t. Take it from a girl who just broke up with her bf of a year and a half.
He won’t. If he wanted to do these things – he would.
>How can I get my boyfriend to be more loving?
You don’t. You can express what is and isn’t important to you in a relationship, but it’s his choice whether to do that or not. It sounds like you may have expressed a desire and he’s chosen to deny that, which is fine, but it may mean you’re not compatible. It’s now on you to decide if this is a deal breaker or not.
It’s okay to break up with him and find someone who is into the extra mile.
Find someone that will do the things you want in a relationship.
You’re both treating each other the way you want to be treated. I would try a final conversation with him where you explain that love is learning to treat each other the way the other person feels good being treated. Ask him what he actually values and what makes him feel loved and tell him what you want. If he isn’t willing to adjust to actually make you happy, then his love isn’t very worth having, is it?
Have you talked to him about any of this? If not, you need to. He can’t know what you need if you don’t communicate that to him. He’s 18, give him a break, if he doesn’t change then show him the door.
are you physically stuck to this man? you can’t just consider the possibility of idk finding a person who will give you want you actually want? how you gonna say you don’t want a horrible relationship and then act like this is it for you? this is how people get stuck in horrible relationships