im 21 he’s 22, we’ve been in a committed relationship for just over 6 years now, we met way back in secondary school, teenage crush sort of thing. we’re both still studying. however he has dropped out this year and committed this time to entirely working.
he is one of three brothers – the eldest is spoilt and is constantly in and out of jails. he contributes nothing and is a liability. the youngest is studying full time and doesn’t work. he is the middle child and he thinks it is up to him to carry the weight of everything on his back. its so f’ing frustrating. it all started when his dad got an infection.. he wanted to reduce the work load on his dad so started working full time.. that way his dad wouldn’t have to work. the thought is a great but for one person how is that fair?????
it’s gotten to a point i don’t even see him. he works 9AM-6PM, comes home for 1 hour then goes back to work until 2AM. there is no such thing as off days. when we meet then he’s always exhausted and falls asleep in my lap and i can’t even tell him anything. i just about start to tell him something and realise he has fallen asleep. i feel so guilty so can’t even wake him. then i have to lie and say i fell asleep before him so he doesn’t feel guilty. we’ve spoke about this whole situation and how i feel.
he’s started taking Sundays off for me which i appreciate but this is so unhealthy. unhealthy lifestyle. he said how it is temp and he’s enrolling into college and work will be part time and everything will be back go normal. that’s he’s working hard now so his dad doesn’t worry about loss of income and he can relax knowing he’s covering it. he’s making a lot of money but doesn’t spend a penny and says don’t spend bc when his dad looks at the balance it’ll bring him peace of mind?????wtf
this is really frustrating for me. we don’t get to go on days out or anything now. i have so much to tell him but i don’t even get to see him. he said his only focus is his dads health right now and i should understand. dude it’s not all ur fucking responsibility. his brothers don’t do shit and nobody else does. how is that fair. how do i convince him to stopnworking crazy hours. guys i swear they’re millionaires. he literally doesn’t have to work like this. how can i get everything to go back to normal. i hate this distance between us now. i miss him every single day:(
Tldr: bf (22m) father is slightly unwell.. bf drops out of college and takes all the work load.. whilst his brothers do nothing.. i never get to see him and when i do he’s always exhausted.. how can i get him to stop working such long hours
2 comments
It’s one of those “blood is thicker than water” situations, and you’re going to have a hard time trying to peel him away from his family.
Talk to him about it. And if he still seems like he won’t give you the time, then your relationship may not be sustainable.
Have you tried supporting him in taking care of his dad?
Understand that neither of you are wrong. If you want somone who doesn’t work like him then by all means find somone else. Just remember before you breakup with him ask yourself if you can find another as good as him.