Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) are both seniors in
high school, we have been dating for almost two years.
In the beginning of our relationship I was absolutely
obsessed with him, I think it was the first time I ever
actually experienced love. However, he was more
nonchalant with me and was never on the same
wavelength with my feelings.
About 6 months into our relationship, he cheated on me, it wasn’t physical for all I know. This was among a bunch of other messed up/mean things he would do to me, that I was blind to because I loved him. At that point of the cheating it was like a switch flipped and I lost almost all feelings I had for him, but I stayed, thinking I forgave him but I never did.
A couple months after this we did a switch in the
relationship dynamic, him becoming how I used to be (very clingy/obsessed/in love) I think this was where he actually fell in love with me. Whereas for me I became how he was, being very nonchalant and non-feeling in our relationship. At this point I still had some feelings left for him.
I am currently at the almost 2 year mark, and I thought I could develop my feelings and that they would come back but they haven’t. And lately he has started to cry constantly about us, because he wants to be around me all the time, and when I go out with friends or family he gets sad. He hates my friends because of this.
For context I have a job that I work 5 days a week at,
with my only off day in the weekend, being Sunday.
Sunday is usually the day we hang out, but with it being my only weekend day off we haven’t been able to hang out lately because I am either with friends or family or just want alone time. It feels like he is smothering me, he constantly wants all my time on my off days, wants to constantly text, if I don’t text back quick enough it’s an issue. With the clinginess I am losing any feeling for him
I have left and any physical attraction, I hate it so much. He texts me every night that he’s crying about me.
He was also going to follow me to college and switched his mind recently to go to a college in a different state to play his sport. He is assuming we are going to do long distance, but being as close as we are now and him still being like this, I know for a fact doing long distance would make me feel more trapped than I do now.
The only thing keeping me with him now is his amazing family, they have always treated me well. I have this constant need for people to like me and I feel like if we breakup his family and friends will hate me and it’s the only thing keeping me in the relationship. I was going to wait until the end of summer to use the not wanting to do long distance as an excuse to break up, but I feel trapped now and I can’t handle this anymore, it’s stressing me out so much. I don’t know how to go about the breakup, and I know this will break his heart, but I
know I would be way happier single.
Tl;dr: I have lost all feelings for my boyfriend and I don’t know how to end it without everybody hating me.