What are your thoughts on the scenario where women who are financially successful still find themselves solely responsible for all household chores, despite having a significant other?

27 comments

  1. That sounds more like they’ve got a child or a leech than a partner. I wish those women knew they deserve better.

  3. They are probably in a relationship with a man. Lesbian relationships *tend* to be more egalitarian.

  5. What’s the point of having that partner there then?

    (I’m a dude)

  7. Absolutely insane.

    I feel like it is changing though for the younger generation. All my friends (late 20s) have convos with their bfs about an equal distribution of chores and mental load. As a single girlie myself i cant speak to that

  9. My thoughts are that it’s bad and sexist. Did you really think we would say anything else?

  11. i think it’s a great sign that misogyny is still alive and well, and it honestly makes me wonder why women chose to stay in those relationships

  12. One of the reasons I broke up with my ex is because of this. He moved into my house, he makes a lot of money, but I already had my house. He worked from home, would do dishes and clean his bathroom, but that’s it. I worked out of the house, and I’m currently remodeling my house, and he just would not help. My house is tiny, 2bd/2bth, and it takes barely any time to clean, but he literally said he couldn’t vacuum because he “didn’t know how (I) wanted it done”, how many fucking ways are there to vacuum?!

  13. My thoughts are that this was me and now I’m chronically ill so… for me it was evidence both that my partner wasn’t willing to put in the same amount of effort and that I need better boundaries.

    Now I’m practicing PACING my dang self. Counting spoons, the whole thing.

  14. I’ve seen both sides. Some put themselves in that position, whether for cultural or personal reasons. More often, they wind up in it.

  15. I am a woman who is financially successful and am responsible for most household chores, despite having a SO and to be honest, I prefer it that way. I like cleaning my house and I get it’s his house too, but I like things done a certain way, and he helps out when needed.

    My SO is responsible for what we call outdoor chores. He’s our garbage guy, landscaper, mechanic, plumber, roofer, carpenter, and etc. I help out when needed.

    We appreciate each other.

  16. was going down that path with my ex which is why he’s my ex. i will never allow that again

  17. I have two sisters who are exactly like this. They married conservative men who enjoyed the money their wives bring in but still expect them to do “women’s work”. They go golfing, hunting, or hang out with their buddies on weekends while their wives catch up on housework and continue to care for their kids.

    Both of my sisters knew this would be their lifestyle when they married these cretins but patriarchy is a hella drug and God forbid they would’ve become 25 year old spinsters still using our maiden name when all of their college friends were getting married and having babies.

    My thoughts are that I looked at their lives and their husbands and said “No, thanks”.

  18. I’d say “I’m sorry your partner is disabled. That must be very difficult.”

  19. This is why I broke up with my last ex, and was a factor in my other breakups.

    Yeah I would much rather be single. I am not your maid.

    If I have to teach you how to pick up after yourself, and how a vacuum works, and why we need to have a clean bathroom, and why having a stinky garbage pail in the house, isn’t a good idea in a tropical region known for flying cockroaches, and rats, then I don’t want to know you.

  20. My thoughts would be “girl, let me take you on a 1 month vacation so you can wake the hell up and if you still want to be with him when we’re back then for him to realize how much he took you for granted !”.

  21. On the scenario in general? It sucks.

    If a woman I knew was in this scenario, I would listen and offer sympathy and advice if warranted (e.g., talk to him, be assertive, don’t settle for a man-child) that is appropriate to the situation.

    In my own relationships: I do not stay in relationships with men who are completely unable to contribute meaningfully in that regard, or become surly and obstinate when confronted with the clear facts of the matter.

    However.

    I don’t expect that any man will contribute as much as I do to things like childcare or cleaning. I expect them to contribute to some degree, but they will not do as much as me if only because they can’t get pregnant or lactate. But it is a non-negotiable demand that my contributions are considered labour and are valued as much (if not more than) my professional work.

  22. I feel bad for them mostly. That’s a lot to take on. I was in that situation previously, and I would never do so again. Both of us were working full-time jobs, but only one of us had a full second shift of cooking and housework to follow. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t balanced, it wasn’t equitable, and it wasn’t sustainable. After leaving that relationship, I knew that was a dynamic that I never wanted to experience again.

  23. I think the companionship and sex isn’t worth it.

    I’d rather live alone.

  24. They either have low self esteem (feel they can’t survive without a man) or let their man walk all over them/don’t have the backbone to leave

  25. In my marriage, incomes were equal when we married, so were household responsibilities. The only time I did less inside the house is when our yard work took over. It was still that way, until I started making more money and she had medical issues. That even drove me to do more, including climbing the management tree

  26. No matter how successful a woman is financially, a man should still be working and contributing to the household upkeep and being there for his family. Men who sit around as “house husbands” or worse, just sit around are an embarrassment

  27. That’s why women are choosing to not have partners recently. There are still societal expectations that a woman should do the household chores and raising the kids even if she is working like the man. A partner is someone who makes your life better, if you’re constantly working both outside and inside of the home with no help what is he there for??

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