I split up with my baby mum after 5 years 6months ago due to her drinking habits.
Everytime she has had a drink over the course of the past year she has used my deepest darkest secrets and insecurities against me. She also has decided to tell other people them multiple times. Whilst she’s still drunk she shows absolutely no remorse. Everytime after this happens when she sobers up she is so loving and apologetic and makes me feel on cloud 9 she also is as a rule lovely to me whenever she is sober. But I’ve begged her time and time again to change it she always says she will and then it never does.
She has good spurts at times and it reels me back in because I think I’ll finally get the happy ever after that I picture in my head as our nice little family. But this is soon shattered every time. The last month she was really good and I said lets try things slow and away from our son to protect him from any possible bad outcomes. But a couple of days ago she had a drink and the names came out yet again. The sad thing is the names don’t hurt anymore because I’ve heard them so many times. Again she was so lovely and apologetic afterwards but I haven’t just suckered up to it this time. Although for some reason that I can’t explain a part of my brain wants to even though it’s no good for me or my son to be around that instability and unpredictability.
My love for her is so true and I feel hers is for me whenever she isn’t drunk. I really feel like I just need to cut contact unless it’s for my son and really try to move on but for some strange reason that thought terrifies me. It also kills me the thought of her being with another man although I know at some point it’s probably inevitable.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for from this post but I think I just need some advice and to see if anyone can relate to this situation and what did you do and how did it go?
For extra info, at the moment I have my son 4-5 days a week as well as work full time. She has him 2-3 and was working full time but quit her job after getting drunk again recently.
Tl;Dr my baby mum keeps being horrible when she’s drunk but I can’t seem to let go completely what shall I do?