Hi, me (24M) and my GF (20F) had the most perfect relationship until about a month ago. Then things started to change.
We had an issue happen with our parents that didn’t support our relationship about a month ago, that resulted in a lot of arguing about how we should solve this thing, one thing was pretty clear, we weren’t going to give up. But i wanted to just go on with the relationship while my GF wanted to get our parents to like us together again. We just didn’t seem to find a solid one answer to the issue so we just went with what she wanted, slow but steady.
We saw each other quite a lot before the issue but now i’ve started to see a pattern in the way it works. I ask her when we could see each other (we live 2 mins from each other) but she always says, i don’t know we’ll see. Eventually she just sends me a 5 min notice of: i’ll be coming over in a sec. What results in me always staying available for when this happens. When we have things planned however, there’s always an issue and she doesn’t end up coming over. Or her work has changed hours, she can’t come over because she needs to go in for a work evaluation etc etc. (In this way she missed the marriage of my brother and a house visit for our first home, i just ended up going alone). I know she’s very very busy atm and i don’t think it’s her fault this happens. But i feel myself drifting away from her because in some way i’m shit in communicating over the phone and i prefer irl meetings and dates. The fact those aren’t happing anymore have resulted in a lot of discussions. She continuously says this is all her fault, that she is the one who is making me feel bad etc. I just feel i’m hitting a rough spot in the proces because we haven’t been sleeping together since the issue, i don’t see her for more than an hour a time and if we end up seeing each other longer it’s because we want to talk about the issue and eventually the fighting starts again. I’ve ended up walking away from an argument telling her she’d be better if she took some time for herself. She told me she can’t let go and she wants this to work but she has the feeling everything is failing for her in her daily life. That she misses so many important things because of her fucked up schedule. On the other side, i am just very available throughout the day because of my job, i can answer her messages at any giving moment if needed. So i have more time to overthink the issue than she does.. The combination of the issues that happened and the busy schedule seem to push away the problem. It feels like the issue is just ‘on hold’ and i just would like the issues to go away, but i have the problem that i’m seeing everything she does in multiple ways. I think pretty negatively lately while i’m always the ‘stay positive, life is to short’ kind of person.
Tbh i do think she tries her absolute best, but the main issue is the fact i’m not seeing her enough. I am aware of the fact that i am someone who wants to love hard and not like this. So it could all be my fault aswell. I’m not about picking sides in this post, i just would like to know what we should do in order to get things right again. I love her very much and i’m pretty sure she does 2. But we hit a rough patch and would like to get out of it.
tldr: Me and my GF are having discussions because of her very busy schedule and we don’t seem to get out.