We are still very much in love and care for each other but I feel like the relationship is pretty much at its end for some reason. We both have very very clear differences in loads of things, politics, religion, marriage, children, where we want to live and how we live our current lives. I’m his first relationship and we’re each other’s closest friend however.
We’ve had disagreements in the past over loads of things, marriage, my family, our relationship etc and doing a couple of those, he admitted I love him more than he could ever love anyone, that he wishes we stayed as friends, that he isn’t sure if he’d date after me because he’d rather be sad and alone than stressed out and he lied about when we could potentially get married because he was hoping I’d change my mind later on. He’s also not the most affectionate person on earth and it really bugs me sometimes and we’re long distance but he has no plans to come and see me again anytime soon. For family reasons, I can’t visit him which makes this a lot harder.
He’s my longest relationship and one of the best people I’ve ever met. I’ve never loved someone the way I loved him and I don’t know if I ever will again. He knows almost everything about me and has helped me through a lot in life. I don’t know if I should leave him, but if I should I don’t know how I ever would tell him. I know he’ll be hurt, I know I will hurt him and I know he won’t go to work for a few days because of it. Except if I leave him, who will he have after me? He isn’t good with talking to women and I’m worried he actually won’t find someone new or make anymore close friends that will care for him and love him the he deserves to be. I don’t know how I’d even go on without worrying about him and how he’s holding up. I know he’s an adult but I can’t help but feel this way when I’ve known him for so long.
TLDR: I feel like my relationship is coming to an end and I don’t know what to do
3 comments
>he admitted I love him more than he could ever love anyone, that he wishes we stayed as friends, that he isn’t sure if he’d date after me because he’d rather be sad and alone than stressed out and he lied about when we could potentially get married because he was hoping I’d change my mind later on
So he’s manipulative. Why do you want to keep this in your life?
As much as you love him, I think the death bell was rung in the first paragraph:
Yall can’t agree on big life choices. Like, any of them. There are certain things you can’t compromise in a relationship, and that’s the big stuff. One person can’t be married while the other one isn’t, yall can’t have 1/2 a kid. Sure a inter-religious household or a politically divided marriage sometimes can work if other things align, but all of this? If yall can’t agree on ANY of the big stuff, then this relationship already has an expiration date. Yall will just keep attacking each other while you delay the inevitable. Withholding affection isn’t a good sign either.
I’d call it quits. It may be he’s a good guy despite all yalls differences, but sometimes love isn’t enough. Hang in there, friend.
You’ve just got to let him go. Figuring out how to deal with heartbreak is a normal, essential part of life. There’s no way around it.
>We both have very very clear differences in loads of things, politics, religion, marriage, children, where we want to live and how we live our current lives.
And this is why you need to break up. You can’t agree on a shared future, so there can be no future together.
> I’m his first relationship and we’re each other’s closest friend however
Then you’d be better off as just friends. You should not stay just because you’re each other’s first.