I realised that I am having same relationships with same kind of people. To be more precise, even in parties, random people come and talk with me about their long term or childhood problems, traumas etc. It is nice people trust me, but it is overwhelming because I am a person that uses all my emphaty to understand or help them.
A friend of mine was like that dumping her issues on me and even blaming me for them, after many months I decided to end my frienship with her. Even though it sounds abusive, it was hard for me to end it. Anyway, few days after this, the guy I met online dating texted me huge msg about his issues which is perfectly fine, that he was extremely careful not to put anything on me.
BUT the problem is that, even with a picture I chose similar person to my previous experiences. How is that possible? How can I break this circle?
4 comments
Just tell them you dont really give a fuck. Straight up look them in the eyes and tell them its not your problem and the subject is boring/ not interesting
“Sorry, but I’m really not in a place where I can handle other people’s issues alongside my own. Please find someone else to vent to.”
You probably have a “kind face” or something that makes people think they can talk to you. The bigger driver though, is probably that you show these people empathy when they’re looking for people to talk to.
That’s a good thing but you can dial it back so they don’t peg you as someone they can always confide in. You don’t need to be rude, but you don’t need to sit and listen to them for as long as they want to vent. Change the subject or tell them you have to leave. They won’t like it but you have no obligation to be there in the first place.
It is extremely easy, you need to change your behaviour.. Tell the people how you fell when they start talking to you about their problems… Be honest, if they are normal, they will understand… If not, you do not need them in your life… Simple as that…