I need help. To start off, I grew up not liking the presence of friends and I avoided having fun with other kids at all costs out of fear of embarrassment. On the other hand, my family is completely normal, at least to me I guess. 10 years later and I’m okay at talking to new people and part of me wants to be in the social spotlight now; however, when I do make new friends, or get to know them on a personal level, I feel idiotic and I don’t understand what most people know. Whether it be through common knowledge or someone’s personal life. it feels really hard to understand and part of me makes me depressed. To add to this, I’ve lost a lot of friends to arguments over the fact that I don’t know things or pure differences in the fact I handle things differently. Sometimes it makes me sad but I do try to push the thoughts away sometimes, yet it’s still hard.