M25 F25 Just want to know your thoughts. I am shocked. Is this the best way to deal with betrayal?
In early March I started seeing someone from bumble. We hit it off well and we have had a great sex life and we texted eachother and met often. I would not say we got to the point of “officially” boyfriend and girlfriend. But we did say we have a relationship. She also told me that I was the only guy she was interested in repeatedly. Every night before going to sleep we would call or text (we don’t live together). We had a trip planned for next weekend together and we were looking at places to stay for our first trip together. However, something that was completly shocking happened that I would have NEVER expected. I try to connect the dots but it still does not make any sense to me so here i go:
I was up studying and we were texting on Tuesday but i noticed she was online ok instagram but she was not responding to my texts. I went to bed and made nothing of it but it was still VERY weird because we usually text and say goodnight to eachother. I woke up wednesday morning and she told me that she met a guy on tinder and he wanted to show her a bar. She then sent me a lot of crying emojis saying sorry and that she feels super bad. she told me that she got drunk and had sex with him and she realized what she did once she got back to her place at 4am. I was last awake at like 3am wondering whats going on then went to bed.
I asked her when she started messaging the guy and she said around the time we started talking. I told her I lost interest and I can tell she is very very sad since she was looking forward to our trip. I told her that I am not interested and that i will block her.
I blocked her on everything. And I am back on dating apps now with the intention to meet someone this weekend or next after this betrayal.
Am I in the wrong to block? And what are some tips/advice on how this could have been prevented? Did I make mistakes?
4 comments
I mean how much do you care about her? Pretty 25 yo girls command a lot of attention. From how you’re describing this, go find someone better to fuck.. But if she was just being a silly drunk and you want to forgive this, it sounds like you have good placement to leverage it into a healthy relationship. I wouldn’t recommend fucking someone ‘at’ her, she won’t notice except maybe to use it against you if you decide you want to move past this. The other side is there’s a reason it happened & forget about her asap. Which most effective way I can think is to get a better experience. You seem like a smart guy, take your best path.
You did the right thing. Keep doing what you are doing and don’t be afraid to walk when you see the red flags like you just did.
From what you wrote, it does appear that she lied to you in order to keep you on the hook by telling you that you were the only guy in her life. She also is probably risking hers and your health if she has caught an STD. Finally, if she can’t control her drinking than that is a huge strike against her being in a healthy long term relationship.
She has demonstrated that she is not a safe and loyal partner, as she was entertaining two guys and probably lying to both of you.
She failed the gf test even before she was a gf.
I think you are being strong and standing up for yourself by breaking away this potential train wreck.
Mate you didn’t do anything wrong!.
She lied and said you were the only guy yet was messaging this other guy at the same time (might have been more) Getting drunk and having sex with him isn’t an excuse because if you were the one for her , She wouldn’t have been out drinking with him in the first place.
Honestly I am amazed she told you, However I think she is probably more sad she isn’t going on that trip.
You 100% did the right thing