My girlfriend of 3 years told me today that a (male) friend of hers is flying out from Poland to come to London to visit the city and catch up with her.
She said there is nothing she can do as we live in Birmingham and her friend wants to visit London for a couple days. This male friend has no other people based in the UK so the only person he knows is my GF.
Funny enough while arguing about this obnoxious situation I came to find out that she was the one who suggested him to come visit her, as she was thinking he would not act on it.
Apparently this guy’s dad died, he has been having hard times lately and my gf been texting him very frequently. Bare in mind that I never heard of this guy before. He just randomly appeared in her messenger chats not even a year ago. She claims he is a friend from her old town in Poland and they speak sporadically ( they went 3+ years without speaking).
I do not know what kind of problem she might have but she doesn’t see nothing bad about this situation. She keeps telling me that I do not want her to have friend.
But that is far from the truth as she claim she suffer from social anxiety and it’s hard for her to make new friends so she relies on old ones that are always and solely men. (She claims that she’s always preferred male’s friendship to female’s).
I do not feel very good about this also because at the beginning of our relationship I caught her going out with one of her polish coworkers behind my back and when I confronted her she lied straight to my face, I had to confront the guy himself and he spilled the beans telling me that she was the one that arrange the meeting and she was the one eager to meet up.
I am the first black man she ver dated and this makes me feel weird about this situation because sometimes I just feel like she’s looking for attention from polish men even tho she keeps telling me that she would never date them again.
She is very secretive with her phone and every time I have had access to it a caught her texting with different men, and when I call her out for it she goes crazy, smashing vases and calling me controlling and crying badly. She keeps repeating that I am not allowing her to have friends.
But the issue is that the only new friends she keeps making are all polish men.
I really do not like the fact that she will be spending the night in an Airbnb with a man I never met.
What should I do?
Let me know your thoughts because I am losing my mind, is 02:37am and a can’t go to sleep.